True faith is always tested faith.

“Don’t Shove Me”

Harold B. Lee, “‘Don’t Shove Me’,” Ensign, Apr. 1975, 60

I had an experience once that taught me something as a grandfather. It was the night of the June Dance Festival at the University of Utah football stadium, and my daughter’s two oldest children were giving her a “bad time,” as she called it. So I said, “How would you like it if I took your two boys up to the stadium to the dance festival?” She said, “Oh, Daddy, if you’d do that, I’d be so happy.”

I didn’t know what I was getting into, but I took those two boys; one of them was five and the other nearly seven. I didn’t know there was so much difference between a seven-year-old and a five-year-old. The older boy was entranced by that spectacle down on the football field. But that five-year-old, his attention span was pretty short. He’d squirm, and then he’d want to go get a hot dog and he’d want to get a drink and he’d want to go to the toilet, and he was just on the move all the time.

And here I was sitting up front with the General Authorities, and they were smiling at this little show going on as I tried to pull my grandson here and there to make him behave. Finally that little five-year-old turned on me and, with his little doubled-up fist, he smacked me on the side of the face and he said, “Grandfather, don’t shove me!”

And you know, that hurt. In the twilight I thought I could see my brethren chuckling a bit as they saw this going on, and my first impulse was to take him and give him a good spanking. That’s what he deserved. But I’d seen his little mother do something. I’d seen her when he was having a temper tantrum. She had a saying, “You have to love your children when they’re the least lovable.”

So I thought I’d try that out. I had failed in the other process. I took him in my arms and I said to him, “My boy, Grandfather loves you. I so much want you to grow up to be a fine big boy. I just want you to know that I love you.” And his angry little body began to unlimber, and he threw his arms around my neck and he kissed my cheek and he loved me. I had conquered him by love.

President Harold B. Lee
(Sunday School Conference address, October 5, 1973)

Forgiveness is the sweet smell of the rose clinging to the heel that crushed it.

When there is a rough day . . . remember.

Romans 8:18. . . the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.

QUOTE

"Sisters, I wish I could place my hands on both sides of your faces, look deeply into your eyes, and impart to you a clear vision of your vital role as beloved daughters of God whose “lives have meaning, purpose, and direction.” We are women who “increase our testimonies of Jesus Christ through prayer and scripture study,” who “seek spiritual strength by following the promptings of the Holy Ghost.” We “dedicate ourselves to strengthening marriages, families, and homes” and “find nobility in motherhood and joy in womanhood.” Mary Ellen W. Smoot, “Steadfast and Immovable,” Ensign, Nov 2001, 91

The Power of Spirituality

The word "spirituality" conjures up a wide range of feelings, attitudes, opinions, and responses, depending on an individual's upbringing, religious preference, experience, and lifestyle. It seems that spirituality has become a lost art. People seem afraid of offending others by talking about spiritual matters in mixed circles. Others are reluctant to develop spirituality along with their mental, emotional, physical and social talents.
I believe spirituality is the greatest of all the talents and gifts we can acquire, but it must be developed. Spirituality helps us understand our feelings. If we become past feeling, we are in trouble as individuals, families, communities, and nations. We must be able to feel or we lose the ability to care and feel compassion for others. As the old saying goes: We are not human beings trying to have a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings trying to have a human experience.
The prolific writer and thinker C.S. Lewis made this perceptive observation: "It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or the other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ORDINARY people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations--these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit--immortal horrors or everlasting splendors".

Two Thousand and Nine is coming!

I'm excited for the New Year. Not for parties, because the only party I'm invited to will end before I can get there after work. For me, this year it is mostly about beginning again. I've come through a lot in the last few years and this moment in time feels like having reached a mountaintop. I recognize how far I've come from where I used to be - and the road ahead gets clearer each day. I have placed my hand in the Lord's, and he is guiding me. I have a lot of work ahead of me, no matter what I choose, but in honesty life is good and I am looking forward to it. I must be smart, and make good choices for my family. I will be faithful and strong, because that is the road to happiness. I will be loving and compassionate, because that is the road to peace.

This year is about a few things. Finding a career and some stability for my family. A "job" just can't do that. Second, bringing the Savior more to my children. Third, my health - I want to be stronger physically. 
The Career will come. I will continue to put my faith and trust in the Lord. He will take me where He wants me to go. Trust is a big word here, but it is good.

For me, leading my children to do the simple things - reading the scriptures, and having family prayer - is the hardest. They give me so much opposition, it brings me to tears - literally. My desire is to teach them the gospel, help them to build a strong foundation of their own for the times in their lives when they must rely on the Lord. If it brings me to tears of frustration every day, I will still keep trying. I will give myself credit for the trying and I will not give up. It is too important. Some days are better than others. I have learned that creativity is the way to my goal. If I can't get them all to sit still in the living room, I can get them to come to the computer - so, some days we read online. Sometimes we pray at the beside of the one who has to get to bed first. Sometimes we pray at the dinner table. I have to be scrappy and quick. We have Family Home Evening when I have a night off. In a family where the schedule changes weekly, it's not about a specific evening - it's about what works. I am the only one who can do this for my children and I have to think on my feet. It's too important. I will give myself credit for trying, even and maybe especially when they ignore and oppose me. I will not quit.

Looking out for my health is a natural outgrowth of needing to release the tension in my body. Yoga, Dance, Walking - whatever it is that I feel like doing. I need to take care of myself. It is a way to be loving with myself, to show myself that I appreciate what is happening in my life. Yoga is especially loving. It just feels so GOOD to stretch - and it can elevate my heart rate as well as any low-impact aerobics, maybe better. I realized a long time ago, that my body doesn't like very strenuous exercise - it needs a lot of slow methodic motion. I think that's why my job has been good for my physically. I'm constantly on the move. A career that keeps me moving would probably be wise, as well. Adding in a little more exercise in the mornings is just another way to say, "I like you! Let's make you feel better today!" It's SO not about looking a certain way, or being "thinner" - I just want to be strong and healthy. That is what feels good to me.

So, I'm looking forward to this year. Let's GO!

Joy to Everyone This Christmas

Don’t miss the opportunity to view and share Joy to Everyone This Christmas at

http://www.joytoeveryone.com

The College of Fine Arts and Communications of Brigham Young University is giving the gift of music this Christmas, offering a new song and music video to download or share for free.

The song, Joy to Everyone This Christmas, was written and produced by Stephen Jones, dean of the college, in collaboration with Emmy-award winning composer and producer Sam Cardon and vocalists Jenny Jordan Frogley and David Osmond. The music video features images from university photographer Mark Philbrick.

Enjoy this beautiful new Christmas song and video produced by the Brigham Young University College of Fine Arts and Communication, copyright 2008.

What will our gift to the Savior be?

We are celebrating his birth after all. I was just wondering what each of you will be doing this Christmas Season to recognize Him, share His love and bless others. I've been pondering on this and would love to hear what everyone has to say!

Faith not Fear

Isaiah 7:4 Take heed and be quiet; fear not neither be fainthearted.

So essentially: listen and have faith.

So simple and straightforward, yet so applicable to life right now. Fear seems to be the motivator behind much control issues and self-esteem issues. Satan plays on those fears and they are perpetuated inside of us by untrue thoughts that we don't recognize as untrue and keep thinking. I think that guilt, depression, discouragement and much more negative things come from fear and from these untrue thoughts. When I read this from Isaiah, it just connected all those dots for me and I realized that our Heavenly Father doesn't use fear as a motivator. He doesn't use guilt, discouragement. These are Satan's tools. Heavenly Father uses faith and love. If we stop for a minute.....stop fearing.... and just listen with faith then the truth can come to us through the Holy Ghost and our thoughts can be true and our feelings can be based on those true thoughts and we can grow in faith and obedience.......and not fear. We can truly go forward in faith.
I am thankful for the scriptures that teach so much, for our wise Heavenly Father who teaches line, upon line and for the Spirit who brings truth to our attention in so many different ways.

Joy

A friend recently confided that she just couldn’t forgive herself for her past mistakes. She said she kept dwelling on the fact that she made them and that she should have done things differently. I know I have felt that way at times, but as I was talking to her I was reminded of a scripture story. It was the one where the Pharisees brought the adulteress for Jesus to condemn, so they could stone her. Then Jesus said, he who was without sin should cast the first stone. When all the men had gone, Jesus finally said, “Neither do I condemn thee. Go and sin no more.”

To me, that story embodies the true meaning of repentance. Repentance is not about beating yourself up or ‘stoning yourself’ over the mistakes you make. Repentance is about turning away from sin and getting back on the right path. It’s about never giving up. It’s about picking yourself up when you fail and keeping on trying. We do this by taking the sacrament each week and trying to keep our covenants as best we can. We all fall short. And that was part of the plan. It’s how we were supposed to learn and progress. When we don’t allow Christ to free us from the sorrow of sin, we stop our progression and learning.

Someone once said that life is like an airplane ride. Airplanes don’t go straight from point A to point B. They are continually making adjustments to get back to the path that will take them to where they want to go. In a similar manner we also must continually make adjustments to get back in harmony with God’s laws. This is not sad! It is happy! That Christ made it possible for us to do this! Each time we repent we should rejoice, not sorrow. I know that in heaven they are rejoicing over us. It says so in the scriptures that there is joy over each sinner who repenteth.

The Lord doesn’t see us as this bundle of sins and imperfections. He sees yesterday, today, and eternity all at once. He sees us right now, as we will be, beautiful, and clean from the atonement of Christ. I hope we can learn to see ourselves that way, and know the great love the Lord has for each one of us. Because of Christ, we are beautiful…today.

Seize The Day

Each of us has only one life, but some of us behave as if we believed we were cats with nine lives. At times we live on the edge, giving little thought to the fact that at any instant we could lay our bodies down and depart this life. We eat, we drink, we make merry, not realizing that our loved ones and friends could die or be taken from us at any time. As John Lennon and Paul McCartney once wrote, "Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend."

We dare not live out lives without taking advantage of each and every day. We must seize the day! We must live and love each day as if it were our last. This is the essence of being good and doing good. We should never wait until tomorrow to make things right. There may be no tomorrow.

A great teacher taught: "Mend a quarrel. Seek out a forgotten friend. Dismiss suspicion and replace it with trust. Write a letter. Give a soft answer. Encourage youth. Manifest your loyalty in word and deed. Keep a promise. Forgo a grudge. Forgive an enemy. Apologize. Try to understand. Examine your demands on others. Think first of someone else. Be kind. Be gentle. Laugh a little more. Express your gratitude. Welcome a stranger. Gladden the heart of a child. Take pleasure in the beauty and wonder of the earth. Speak your love and then speak it again."

My Father's House.

I was thinking earlier about posting something else, but the Spirit said "No". It was the first time that happened to me with this blog, and speaks to the fact that the Lord has something very specific in mind for what I need to write tonight. (Please don't hesitate to contact me about anything I've written here. My email link is located on the side bar.)

A few minutes ago, I was thinking about the day, and how grateful I am for some very specific blessings. This time, the Spirit was overwhelming - "This is what you need to write about." Interestingly enough, I had originally wanted to post Elder Ballard's request that we share our testimonies through the internet, blogs and other electronic media. I will share that request at another time. Tonight, what the Lord wants me to share is my testimony. (It's just a bit ironic that I didn't pick up on THAT when I read Elder Ballard's request that we do that very thing.)

I was able to attend our Fast and Testimony Meeting today. I have been feeling for a while that I needed to share my testimony of the Temple, and what a blessing it has been to me in this last year. As I sat listening to the testimonies, trying keep my brood of 5 active children quiet enough so that I could hear, I realized that there had been a long period of silence. I waited, and I thought I heard someone get up, but the pause continued. Finally the Spirit said to me, "We are waiting for you." What I will share here is actually much more detailed than what I shared in the meeting today, but essentially the same.

Last November, my Bishop encouraged me to begin attending the Temple regularly, at least once a month. I cried there in his office. I hadn't wanted to go without my husband. I had come to a place where I knew my husband, to whom I was sealed in the San Diego Temple 14 years earlier, was no longer interested in Christ or the LDS Church, much less the Temple. My own convictions, regarding the truth of the gospel and the power of Christ to comfort as well cleanse and save, were stronger than ever. I knew I needed the strength that would come from the Temple and I knew my husband wouldn't be coming with me again. I told my Bishop that I would go each month.

This month, October 2008, was the 12th consecutive month that I have fulfilled that commitment. In some ways it seems like much more time has passed because so much has changed in my life during this year. In most ways, the year has flown by. I will never let any excuse keep me from the Temple again. In the Temple, I feel peace about my road - which has been incredibly rocky and filled with struggles I never dreamed I'd face. In the Temple, I feel the deep and endless love of the Lord. I feel like I'm 'going  home' in many ways. It is My Father's House. He is there for me when I go for a visit. He sits at my side and listens to me as I pour out my heart. He lets me know that he has heard me. Amazingly, what I feel to do most when I am there is to Thank Him. I am renewed in the Temple. It has been a much greater blessing to me than my Bishop promised.

Last November, as I sat waiting in a silent Temple room, My Father said quietly to my heart "Thank you for coming to My House. Now, I can bless you even more." I felt completely overwhelmed by His love, and I desperately needed that. I had recently told my husband that I wasn't willing to go on the way things were. In the previous year things had worsened in our home to such an extent, his anger and misery were so entrenched, that I had begun to fear for our children and their emotional health. There was strength rising up in me that I didn't know I had. I wasn't afraid anymore to face life without him. I had given him one last opportunity to treat his family with kindness and love, to be the father his children deserved. I could live with him not embracing the gospel the way I did, but I couldn't live with the emotional explosions that seemed to be more and more common and vicious - turning more often directly to family members. I had come to a very difficult place. I needed My Father more than ever, and He was there for me, in His House.

I can think of so many precious moments in my visits to the Temple during this year when the Spirit has lifted me like a buoy, helping me to float through what would otherwise have been almost unbearable trials. The Spirit made me sure of my course, sure of the things I knew I had to do. It has been far more difficult than I imagined, but most often more peaceful. There have been moments so painful, I thought there was no way I'd find my way through the struggles. Soon after however, a little light would come, a little miracle would find its way into my life, My Father would reveal His hand. It is not the life I planned. It is so far from the life I planned that I know I would never have been able to withstand the mounting pressures without my monthly visits to the Temple, Daily Scripture Study and Prayer. My road has brought me to a divorce.

Your road may be a different road, but your answers and strength still lie in the Temple, in Your Father's House. He knows you just as well as He knows me. He is waiting for you to come and sit at His knee, tell Him of your pain and find rest in His love. I Know. I have been there. He and our Savior Jesus Christ Live and they Love us so desperately. They want to see us. It's what they always say, isn't it? "Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest." 

Rest is waiting for you. 

Come.

Search In The Light Of Christ

Moroni knew that in the latter-days people would call good evil and evil good. He therefore included in the last pages of the Book Of Mormon counsel his father, Mormon, gave to the Saints who lived in the last days of the Nephite civilization. They too had difficulty clearing this mist, so Mormon gave them a key:
"Every thing which inviteth and enticeth to do good, and to love God, and to serve him, is inspired of God. Wherefore, take heed, my beloved brethren, that ye do not judge that which is evil to be of God or that which is good and of God to be of the devil. For behold, my brethren, it is given unto you to judge, that ye may know good from evil; and the way to judge is as plain, that ye may know with a perfect knowledge, as the daylight is from the dark night. For behold, the Spirit of Christ is given to every man, that he may know good from evil; wherefore I show unto you the way to judge; for everything which inviteth to do good, and to persuade to believe in Christ, is sent forth by the power and gift of God...And now, my brethren, seeing that ye know the light by which ye may judge, which light is the light of Christ, see that ye do not judge wrongfully...Wherefore, I beseech of you , brethren, that ye should search diligently in the light of Christ that ye may know good from evil; and if ye will lay hold upon every good thing, and condemn it not, ye certainly will be a child of Christ." (Moroni 7:13-19.)

For a wise purpose.

Words of Mormon
7 And I do this for a wise purpose; for thus it whispereth me, according to the workings of the Spirit of the Lord which is in me. And now, I do not know all things; but the Lord knoweth all things which are to come; wherefore, he worketh in me to do according to his will.

This scripture says in a nutshell how I feel about my life’s ups and downs. I don’t know everything, but the Lord does.

The Best Within Us

I loved this quote.

“The whole process of raising a family is one of perfecting our own lives. That which we transmit consciously and unconsciously to our children in their rearing in the home and in the community must be the best within us.” Henry D. Moyle, formerly of the 1st Presidency of the church.

Alma 37 and the spiritual/temporal

Kersten and I must be on the same wavelength because I have been having the same thoughts and learning about the connectedness of spiritual and physical and how my bridling and control over one influences the other so much. I have been thinking about it through the view of concepts from Alma 37:6,33,37,40-47.
The thoughts start with, "....by small and simple things are great things brought to pass" then leads me to, "...teach them to withstand every temptation of the devil, with their faith on the Lord Jesus Christ." From there I find, "counsel with the Lord in all they doings and he will driect thee for good..." This leads me to the concept of a temporal Liahona in the time of Lehi (vs. 40-47) and the comparison of the words of Christ being the same type of "liahona" for Helaman and for us in our day. Verse 41 takes us back to the small and simple means idea and ties all those together by showing that spiritual and temporal ARE connected, that the words of Christ are our liahona today and that our faith is required for the liahona to work.
I end my jumble of thoughts with exerpts from Alma 37: 40-47: "And now, my son, I would that ye should understand that these things are not without a shadow; for as our fathers were slothful to give heed to this compass (now these things were temporal) they did not prosper, even so it is with things which are spiritual. For behold, it is as easy to give heed to the word of Christ, which will point to you a straight course to eternal bliss, as it was for our fathers to give heed to this compass.....do not let us be slothful because of the easiness of the way; for so it was with our fathers....if they would look they might live; even so it is with us. The way is prepared, and if we will look we may live forever."

The Spiritual and the Physical

Lately I have noticed something that I should have known a long time ago. That my spiritual being is inseparably connected to my physical being. I have had my ups and downs with eating healthy and exercising...and happily...I've been on an upswing this month. The contrast between my ups and downs has made me notice something. I am finally realizing after all these years...that when I eat healthy and exercise, I gain more control over my physical body...which translates directly into more control over my spirit. I never noticed that before! When I am controlling my physical body to stay healthy, all of a sudden I have a stronger spirit or a stronger 'will' to do the spiritual things that I need to do as a mother, wife, and daughter of God. I desire to read my scriptures and attend the temple more...I have more patience and more power to do the things I need to in motherhood...I have more strength to serve others. I love feeling this way!

I wish I would have figured that out sooner. I know I would have been far less overwhelmed as a young mother. Oh well...older but wiser.....

The Face of a Prophet

The scriptures teach us both directly and indirectly the power of a prophet in dispersing the darkness Satan sends to blind our eyes. The fifth chapter of Helaman recounts the story of Nephi and Lehi, who were bound in prison, awaiting their execution. When the Lamanites came to take their lives, they were "encircled about with a pillar of fire." At the same time, the Lamanites "were overshadowed with a cloud of darkness, and an awful solemn fear came upon them." (Helaman 5: 24, 28.) This cloud of darkness represents their spiritual state. The Lord was showing them an outward manifestation of their spiritual state. We are told that "they could not flee because of the cloud of darkness." (Helaman 5:34.) There was, however, something powerful enough to penetrate the darkness and show them the way.

"Aminadab turned him about, and behold, he saw through the cloud of darkness the faces of Nephi and Lehi; and behold, they did shine exceedingly." Aminadab cried to the others trapped in the darkness, encouraging them to look to the one source of light visible to them. "And behold, there was power given unto them that they did turn and look; and they did behold the faces of Nephi and Lehi." (Helaman 5: 36-37.)

When the adversary sends his clouds of darkness, his temptations, his deceptions and deceits, we need only look to the faces of the prophets. Their light is strong enough to penetrate whatever clouds may come our way. But just as the Lamanites had to turn and look, so we must turn and look. The light is there if we desire it. If we seek it, wonderful promises are offered.

Hold On The Light Will Come

A few months ago I found myself sitting at my computer in complete dispair. I had been doing some journaling about my fears for a loved one. He had wandered far from the fold.I was beginning to believe Satan's lie's that he would never find his way back. I was trying to imagine what my life would be like without him in it. All I had left were my pleading cries to my Heavenly Father.

Then I found myself here at Peaceable Walk reading Abby's blog on July 10th about our prayers being heard. I remember how the words pearced my heart.

"Somewhere out there is someone who desperately needs to know that their prayers are heard and will be answered."

I had never read this blog before, I don't even know how I arrived at this site. What I do know is , it wasn't an accident. I know that night I received an answer to my prayers.


Sometimes we just have to HOLD ON.........

I wanted to share this with you today because for these past few weeks I have had such a peace about this situation. I just knew that my prayers were being heard. It was during this time that my loved ones life was completely shattered. He had found himself completely alone. I knew things were really, really bad in his life but I was at peace. I just knew everything was going to be alright. I am not saying that I did nothing. What I did was, read my scriptures, fast, pray, and journal about all the little things that my Heavenly Father was teaching me during that time.

And today, I am witnessing a miracle. A few weeks ago I was trying to prepare myself for a life without this person in it. Today I received an e-mail photo of him in a hospital room witnessing the miracle of birth as his sister brings a new life into this world.He was in a room filled with loved ones who had also missed him dearly.

He truly was lost but now he is found.

What I want to share with you is this. I know that there are moments for each of us when all around us is dark despair. It is as if we have fallen into a deep, dark hole and we can't find our way out. It is during those moments that we think we will never see the light again but if we just hold on the light will come. Sometimes the only thing we can do is HOLD ON. It is during these moments that I hear the voice of my Heavenly Father whisper softly in my ear, "Be still, and know that I am God." So if today you are that person that desperately needs to know that your prayers are heard I hope you will know that the light will come. Just hold on.