The Peaceable Walk

You're On Santa's Team Now

2011-12-05T17:56:00.002-07:00

My grandma taught me everything about Christmas. I was just a kid. I remember tearing across town on my bike to visit her on the day my big sister dropped the bomb: "There is no Santa Claus," she jeered. "Even dummies know that!"

My grandma was not the gushy kind, never had been. I fled to her that day because I knew she would be straight with me. I knew Grandma always told the truth, and I knew that the truth always went down a whole lot easier when swallowed with one of her world-famous cinnamon buns. Grandma was home, and the buns were still warm. Between bites, I told her everything. She was ready for me.

"No Santa Claus!" she snorted."Ridiculous! Don't believe it. That rumor has been going around for years, and it makes me mad, plain mad. Now, put on your coat, and let's go."

"Go? Go where, Grandma?" I asked. I hadn't even finished my second cinnamon bun. "Where" turned out to be Kerby's General Store, the one store in town that had a little bit of just about everything. As we walked through its doors, Grandma handed me ten dollars. That was a bundle in those days. "Take this money," she said, "and buy something for someone who needs it. I'll wait for you in the car." Then she turned and walked out of Kerby's.

I was only eight years old. I'd often gone shopping with my mother, but never had I shopped for anything all by myself. The store seemed big and crowded, full of people scrambling to finish their Christmas shopping. For a few moments I just stood there, confused, clutching that ten-dollar bill, wondering what to buy, and who on earth to buy it for. I thought of everybody I knew: my family, my friends, my neighbors, the kids at school, the people who went to my church. I was just about thought out, when I suddenly thought of Bobbie Decker. He was a kid with bad breath and messy hair, and he sat right behind me in Mrs. Pollock's grade-two class. Bobbie Decker didn't have a coat. I knew that because he never went out for recess during the winter. His mother always wrote a note, telling the teacher that he had a cough; but all we kids knew that Bobbie Decker didn't have a cough, and he didn't have a coat.

I fingered the ten-dollar bill with growing excitement. I would buy Bobbie Decker a coat. I settled on a blue one that had a hood to it. It looked real warm, and he would like that. I didn't see a price tag, but ten dollars ought to buy anything. I put the coat and my ten-dollar bill on the counter and pushed them toward the lady behind it. She looked at the coat, the money, and me. "Is this a Christmas present for someone?" she asked kindly. "Yes," I replied shyly. "It's... for Bobbie. He's in my class, and he doesn't have a coat." The nice lady smiled at me. I didn't get any change, but she put the coat in a bag and wished me a Merry Christmas.

That evening, Grandma helped me wrap the coat in Christmas paper and ribbons, and write, "To Bobbie, From Santa Claus" on it. Grandma said that Santa always insisted on secrecy. Then she drove me over to Bobbie Decker's house, explaining as we went that I was now and forever officially one of Santa's helpers.

Grandma parked down the street from Bobbie's house, and she and I crept noiselessly and hid in the bushes by his front walk. Suddenly, Grandma gave me a nudge. "All right, Santa Claus," she whispered, "get going." I took a deep breath, dashed for his front door, threw the present down on his step, pounded his doorbell twice and flew back to the safety of the bushes and Grandma. Together we waited breathlessly in the darkness for the front door to open. Finally it did, and there stood Bobbie. He looked down, looked around, picked up his present, took it inside and closed the door.

Forty years haven't dimmed the thrill of those moments spent shivering, beside my grandma, in Bobbie Decker's bushes. That night, I realized that those awful rumors about Santa Claus were just what Grandma said they were: Ridiculous! Santa was alive and well... AND WE WERE ON HIS TEAM!

Laughter is the Best Medicine

2011-10-15T20:38:00.001-06:00

I have love.

2011-08-15T12:24:00.000-06:00

I have love in my life. I am blessed. I have my children and my parents and my sisters and my friends. I am so very blessed. So very very blessed.

A Good Thought to Remember

2011-07-18T21:03:00.000-06:00

The difficulties of life are meant to make us better, not bitter...

Where I want to be. . .

2011-04-07T10:21:00.000-06:00

So, I have all these plans and they are great plans. I live in a beautiful place, truly enviable in it's beauty. It's a good place, where I am in my life—and it's where I want to be almost all the time. Today, however, is overcast and quite chilly. Today, I am experiencing a little wanderlust—ok fine, more than a little.
Last year we went to Grand Teton and Yellowstone in August. That was smashing fun! This morning, I was craving a little jaunt to Jackson. I had that "I'd rather be in Jackson" sticker on my virtual forehead. I moved on with my day, thinking about the mountains and meadows and lakes in the Grand Teton area. . . so lovely. My five year old needed some snuggle time, so I left my work and sat with her a while. I was thinking about, and telling her about when I was a child. I spent some of my formative years in San Diego, also a very beautiful place. No sooner had that thought passed through my mind than I was craving a little time at the beach. It's been a long time since I had some time at the beach and she has not been to the beach. . . such a shame! I really do miss the sound of the water and the waves washing up over my feet as I walked along the coast. I enjoy my evening beach memories most. I loved going with friends. The light of the moon reflected on the ocean and the feel of the sand. Ah yes. . . so lovely. . . and I moved on with my day.
I have some plans for a little travel in September—to a fun cabin by a lake. I want to work in some day trips with the kids when we have holiday time this summer. My ten year old really wants to visit her cousins and we've been trying to work that out for a year. I think it's about time we just make the trip, even if I can only get one extra day off work and we only have one full day there—for her, I think it will be worth it.
I suppose it's a good thing that I can't just go anywhere I please at any moment. Commitments and reality are demanding. I think it's important though, to listen to what your heart longs for. You could allow reality never to include pauses for beautiful journeys, but then what would you have to look back on for inspiration and joy on cloudy days? I could say that there just isn't time for a visit to the cousins, but then the memories we might have made won't be able to warm my daughter's heart when she is grown. Good memories are riches, and they are worth the treasure hunting and adventure necessary to make them.

Please go here. Watch and Listen. It will strengthen you.

2011-04-03T13:20:00.000-06:00

C.Jane: This is what I know.

You, who they call Lord

2011-03-28T07:13:00.001-06:00

I found this on Paulo Coelho's blog. Here is a link.
By Abbott Burkhard

You, who I can feel deep inside my soul.
You, who has created this world.

When I look into the microcosmos, in the macrocosmos, everywhere I find you.
I sense your greatness.

You, who they call Lord,
who they call Father,
who they call Allah,
who they call Jahwe,
You, who is there.

Who is with us. Who walks with us.
The older I become, the more I can call you friend.
You are the friend of my life, who loves me and who called me to carry your message to the people.
Thank you.

I want to ask for everyone who is here today, to feel some of God’s Greatness and His love, who wants us, who loves us.
Jesus Christ showed us a way which we can walk together.
In spite of everything and everyone, we can find ways together,
seek and find ways which will gift us with a better and more beautiful life.

Paulo has written that he is searching for the sense in his life.
And while searching he went across new paths, wrong tracks and detours, like the all of us.

Let’s keep on looking for you in the humans beings that are present in our path.

Amen

Inexpressible Comfort

2011-03-22T22:06:00.000-06:00

“Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away.”

—George Eliot

My friend posted this on a blog today, and I got to thinking. . . isn't this the perfect description of prayer, in a relationship with Our Father in Heaven where we allow him to truly be a Father and a Friend to us? I have felt this way a lot recently as I poured my heart out to Him, and I have felt his encouraging loving comfort in my heart, assuring me that He wanted to hear how I truly felt. (Let's be honest: It isn't as though he doesn't already know.) As we share our feelings with him honestly—He can teach, guide and direct us. He can help us to see our feelings and experiences in His light and through His eyes. He can impress upon our hearts how much he loves us, cherishes our growing times, feels for our pain and rejoices with us when we are joyous.

This is why I love Father so much. He never fails to assure me of His love, regardless of how lovable or worthy of His love I may feel.

Some Photos and Some Quotes.

2011-03-15T20:50:00.003-06:00

Success is often the result of taking a misstep in the right direction. —Al Bernstein

Penicillin, X-rays, rubber, even Silly Putty and Post-It Notes

were all fortuitous by-products of looking for something else.

—Hirsch Goldberg.

Every exit is an entry somewhere else.

Remember that Columbus was looking for India

when he found America.

—Tom Stoppard

In every problem or set back there is the see of an equivalent

or greater benefit—if you will only stop and look for it.

—Bob Moawad

quotes from the book think big. . . compendium incorporated

Journals.

2011-03-14T23:14:00.002-06:00

For or Against? I am for. Here is why. . .

A while back I was feeling low. Life was so challenging, I felt as though I was struggling through each day. I decided to go back and read through some of my journals from 2005 to 2008. I was dumbfounded. As I read over those words, my words, it was as though I was standing at the edge of the Grand Canyon, looking down into its depths. I was astonished at how deep my pain had been. I was sobered by those memories.

With that perspective, I recognized the simple joy of NOT BEING THERE ANYMORE! My challenges are different now, to be sure. I am living a LIFE. It is confusing sometimes. At times, it hurts—even now. Truly, though. . . life is good. I was so grateful to have my journals, to be able to reflect and truly see how far I've come. The pains are different up here on the canyon overlook. They are not nearly so overwhelming. I have so much more hope for happiness now and in the future. I am so grateful to be where I am now.

Keep a journal. You may need it someday.

In their Prosperous Circumstances.

2011-03-02T23:29:00.000-07:00

I think this is the way to be. When I read the first four words, I was fairly sure this was a verse describing how weak and prideful we humans can be sometimes. . . but I was pleasantly surprised. If you Must have wealth, how wonderful would it be to share that with those who were in need. Their hearts were not set upon their riches. They were liberal with all. I hope I can do this someday, and for now, I'll do what I can.

Alma 1:30
And thus, in their ^aprosperous circumstances, they did not send away any who were ^bnaked, or that were hungry, or that were athirst, or that were sick, or that had not been nourished; and they did not set their hearts upon ^criches; therefore they were ^dliberal to all, both old and young, both bond and free, both male and female, whether out of the church or in the church, having no ^erespect to persons as to those who stood in need.

Nauvoo Temple

2011-02-20T21:02:00.002-07:00

I love that this Temple was rebuilt after it was lost. For me (and for so many others I think, as well) after very traumatic events and the complete loss of what I understood to be "my life," it gives me great hope to see something so beautiful standing where not so many years ago there was just a grassy area and a protective fence. It is a symbol of renewal, of resurrection, of faith, vision and of love.

They rebuilt the Temple exactly as it once was (on the exterior). My life, as I rebuild, will look much different from the way it did before—more beautiful, stronger. I'm building with a very different perspective and understanding of myself this time around. I truly believe that I made the right choices the first time around, the same as I believe the Saints of Nauvoo did the right thing when they built and dedicated their Temple. The fact that it was destroyed doesn't for one minute negate the value it had for them or the struggles they labored through to build it. I'm glad that I knew the grassy hill, and I'm grateful for the beautiful House of God that stands there now; It is a monument to them, and a beacon to us.

2011-01-08T06:21:00.000-07:00

No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God… and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulations, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire and which will make us more like our Father and Mother in heaven.

Orson F. Whitney, in Spencer W. Kimball, Faith Precedes the Miracle (Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1972), 98.

All Gummed Up!

2010-11-05T23:12:00.001-06:00

I found this on my other blog tonight. . . it's an old story (nearly 2 1/2 years) but it is so funny. I don't think I posted it here, and everybody needs a good laugh now and then—I know I do—so here you go:

The following will someday be part of a movie, I'm sure of it. Truth IS stranger than fiction after all. My son told me this story on the way home from my parents' house last night. I laughed so hard I thought I might need to pull off the road. Driving under the influence of laughter, not always a very safe proposition.

Last month, my Dad and two of my sons (ages 12 and 5) were up on my roof. There had recently been a torrential downpour which had caused some leaking. We only knew about it because there was moisture around a ceiling fan in our family room. This upset the 5 year old beyond words. (He is still quite concerned about it. More on that later.) For some reason, a few drops of water on the ceiling spelled certain destruction to him. (I can't, unfortunately, say that it spelled hunky dorry for me either but I hadn't thought of calling in the US Army Corps of Engineers yet.) The fan area is directly below an attic vent on the roof. All of us big people figured that was probably the source of the water and sure enough - it had been installed incorrectly. My Dad, being a very practical man and knowing that kids often learn best through observation, had taken two of my boys up on the roof with him to watch. The third must have been away because otherwise I'm sure he'd have been up there, too. As my Dad was laying a bead of caulk around the attic vent, his gum got a little stale and he decided to toss it over his shoulder. Q, my five year old must have been uncharacteristically quiet up until that point. He let out a wail and everyone turned quickly to see what was the matter. (They were up on the roof, you know.)

There he was, frozen in time with my Dad's discarded gum right between between his eyes. He did not understand what everyone seemed to find so funny and he continued to wail until the situation was rectified - which I'm sure was not nearly soon enough for him.

Where will you be five years from today?

2010-10-21T22:24:00.002-06:00

The following is an excerpt from the book, Where will you be five years from today? It is an amazingly inspiring workbook style book published by Compendium Incorporated. (www.live-inspired.com) Turning the pages has been like harrowing the soil of my mind. . . a fantastic experience, and I haven't yet begun the "work". . . I've just been reading. The thing I like best is that I pretty much know what I want from the next five years of my life, and it's called, "Getting a Life." I'm going back to college for a BSN. That's big, and I figured it was going to take up all my time. After just one turn through this book, I realize that I need to grow in more than just the educational way. It would be like exercising only one arm. . . I need balance. I need to have goals in the other areas of my life at the same time. What I thought was going to be a tool to focus my goals, has actually turned out to be a tool to open my mind to broader possibilities. I'm really excited about it. I'm thrilled for the next five years.

Follow your dreams, they know the way.

If you don't have a dream,

how can you have a dream come true?

Your imagination is the preview to life's coming attractions.

—Albert Einstein

So, and okay. . .

Here are the areas that the books suggests we make goals:

Spiritual

Family

Career

Health

Financial

Education

Recreation

Charitable

Adventure

Travel

Romance

Relationships

Now with these areas in mind, go back and read those three little things right above them. Set your imagination free. . . and enjoy the little mini-vacation from 'now'.

A little later in the book, I found this:

It's never too late

or too early.

Right now is a good time.

life is now

That's true, isn't it. Life is NOW. We need to live now, and not put off our joys or our growth until it's more convenient. We all fill many roles and wear many hats. We have more responsibilities than we care to talk about openly with others. Our first job, however, is to see to ourselves: our health and sanity. When we are healthy and sane, we have so much more to give to others. When we are inspired, we can inspire those around us. We can lift others best when we are buoyant ourselves. . . So DREAM! I'm giving you permission! Go Ahead. Who do you want to be, at your core? What would you need to do to become her? If you don't know then think about it. If you DO know, then GO GET HER!

2010-10-04T09:11:00.003-06:00

Slow

Down.

Calm

Down.

Don't

Worry.

Don't

Hurry.

Trust the

Process.

Alexandra Stoddard

Peace

2010-10-01T10:25:00.001-06:00

Peace.

It does not mean to be in a place

where there is no noise, trouble

or hard work. It means to be in

the midst of those things and still

be calm in your heart.

(unknown)

2010-08-15T20:08:00.012-06:00

Just as plants soak up water, your children need your loving words, and with them they will thrive. ~ Judy Ford

I know how it feels to lose Q. . .

2010-07-17T01:51:00.002-06:00

I'm pretty calm, generally. I go through the challenges that greet me without too much fanfare most of the time. Generally, that 'way' of doing things makes getting through said challenges much easier. So, today, I took the kids to Lagoon. (For those not familiar with my area of the country, Lagoon is a local amusement park which has been around more than 100 years. It's the only game in town, and VERY crowded in the summer.) My sister was with me, along with two of her children and T's best friend also came along. I knew that one of the biggest issues I'd have was keeping Q, my seven year old son, close. He's, shall we say, easily distracted. I was 100% correct. We had to stop progress from 'here' to 'there' at least four times during the day because we realized that Quinn was no longer with us. The first couple of times, a little backtracking resolved the problem with relative ease. . . in fact I'm not even sure HE knew that he was lost when we found him. When he is walking he looks EVERYWHERE, except at the people he's walking with. He's intrigued by things and wants to know. I know this though, right? So we just took stock consistently and most of the time we were good.
Now, within Lagoon, there is a Water Park known as 'Lagoon-A-Beach'. Very nice way to escape the horrible heat of the day. It was supposed to hit 100 today, and we were prepared. When that heat came on. . . we went to the water. We weren't the only smarties at the park though - it was near capacity and jammed like no other area. There were walkways in and around the people, but only just barely. We wandered for a bit until we found a fantastic, shady spot where a family was just about to leave behind three lounge chairs. It was Heaven. . . until I realized that Q had NOT made it there with us. I headed out on the hunt. I was stressed, this time. I am largely unfamiliar with the water park there. People everywhere, lounging, walking, busy - no one really worried about lost children. I knew the employees might care though so I asked, and was directed to the first aid area, not too far away. I started to talk to the man inside the room. It took him a moment to understand what I was saying. In the time it took to arouse his interest, and at the point where I was about to describe my son to him, Q walked by outside. Looking at me, Q's little face lit with relief. I excused myself with a quick, "That's him, " and grabbed him around the shoulders as quickly as I could. I asked him if he had been afraid. He said that he had been but that a little whisper told him "Go that way." Thank Heaven I was 'down that way' and not running frantically all over the place. Someone Somewhere knew I'd go with my gut—to look for help— and they told my boy. I get the feeling that helping my son to hear and recognize that voice as his friend could be very important in his life.

Just so you know, that's NOT when I knew how it felt to lose Q.

We had yet another incident of fairly easily rectified dalliance. He was glad to be once again scooped up and saved from himself, but only slightly shaken. . . and I should have known.

We were all ready to go. We had some final treats in hand. The older boys needed to get their tickets validated and headed off in that direction. My middle children followed happily, and I expected to be right on their heels. The last of the treats, however, made a HUGE mess on the counter before I could even pick it up. It got on my keys, and and anything within about 6 inches of it. The young man apologetically helped me to clean it up. When I finally got everything I needed, without the extra-sticky coating, I started to walk to where I knew they'd be waiting. A was the only one who had stayed with me. The sun had set and it was getting very dark. I recognized as I was walking, how different the park was at night. Lower visibility, lights flashing everywhere. Even though we had been there all day, and we had become fairly familiar with things, it was all different now. When I arrived, everyone was relaxing and waiting. . . I took stock. "Where's Q?" Heads darted in every direction. T and his best friend took off immediately. I got the C settled with the girls in a well lit spot near the main crossroads of the park and headed out to look myself. This time, however, I WAS frantic. The thought of Q trying to find his way around in the dark was overwhelming to me. I went to every place that we'd been in the previous 10 minutes. Every place he'd shown obvious interest in. I talked to the employees along the way, describing him. No one had seen him. I saw T running a couple of times along the way as well. My heart was melting. I had looked for him so many times already that day. His little image and my relief at "seeing" it again so many times, was burned on my mind. I knew I needed help. I stopped a Security employee of the park and he was quick to spread the word. I described my son to him. "He is seven years old. He is wearing a Turquoise shirt with white stripes. He has on navy blue shorts. He has dark hair. When he walks, he looks at everything. He doesn't pay much attention to where he's going." The young man asked if I knew where the security office was, and said that I should check there in about 20 minutes. That seemed like SO long.

I was panicking. My heart was breaking wide open, as I contemplated the possibility that those clothes I had 'found' him in time after time today might be the last things I'd ever see him wear. I went once again on the loop that I had made previously, hoping that he'd go back to one of those spots to look for me. It hadn't been nearly the twenty minutes originally estimated, but even so, I KNEW what an eternity without Q would feel like and it was devastating. Finally, without success, I felt I should return to where C and the girls were waiting for me, and I did. As I came around the corner, my hope was that he would be sitting there with them as though nothing had happened. I was not soothed, however. He was not there. I didn't want to upset the other children, and did my best not to show them how worried I was. It was a fairly futile effort however. They knew it was serious.
Then, just as I was about to break into sobs of grief, those tears turned miraculously to joy. A tall young man in a light blue Lagoon polo shirt and khaki pants rounded the corner with his arm draped around the shoulders of a small dark-haired boy. Dressed in a striped turquoise shirt. Wearing navy blue shorts. This time however, that little boy's eyes were riveted to me. He started to cry, as did I. I ran to him and threw my arms around him . . one more time. We cried and cried. It seemed like ages. I looked gratefully at the young man, and thanked him. He commented that my description of him had been absolutely perfect. "It should be," I said. "He's my son."
I'm grateful to know a loving Father in Heaven loves me no less than I love this little child. He loves me, each of us, so much more even that I can imagine. Love is the reason I believe so firmly in God. I know that Someone Somewhere understands.

Longing

2010-04-09T10:25:00.001-06:00

I went back in my journals to March 2008, and found this gem. It couldn't be more true today.

I'm so grateful to have kept good journals. Most surprising to me? I had NOT already posted this in my blog! Really? So, here you go. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

Life is full of longing. I’ve heard so many people say this in different ways. Leaning to live in the moment, I think, is much more than just eschewing consequences. We want things to happen quickly. We don’t want some things to happen at all. If we have to endure those things, we can’t just wait until they are “over.” I don’t think that it’s ever really over. I think that no matter what is happening in life, we could be wishing that there was some magic pill that could instantly transport us to an easier place, where life will fall into it’s “correct” rhythm and THEN we would be happy. If we could just get such and such accomplished, we would be satisfied. Whether we realize it or not, most of us quickly pass by almost without acknowledging those things when they DO happen. We find some other reason not to be happy.That is the longing I’m talking about.

I hope that I am able to make the very most out of those threshold moments in my life as the years ahead pass by. I want to be happy now, and not wait until some big event comes along. I think that, in not putting off my happiness, I will be able to truly savor and cherish the good things to come. I don’t want to rush through anything just to get to the next thing. I know that there are going to be so many challenges. I want to take each day with courage and live deliberately. I think it’s really the only way to live. I think that living any other way isn’t really living, it's actually putting off living your life until some future time which you will never allow to come. I don’t want that. I want to be alive, now. I want to live my life with purpose and do things for good reasons. I want to be able to look back and say, “I learned this.” or “I’m different now because. . .” and build each day on the choices of yesterday, and do it happily.

Black Bean Pineapple Enchiladas

2010-03-28T19:38:00.002-06:00

This is a departure from my regular posts, but I think it's a great recipe, and worth sharing. It always hits the spot with my family, maybe yours will like it too! Ü

Three Boneless Skinless Chicken Breasts
One large Sweet Pepper (any color will be equally delicious)
One 20 oz can Pineapple (crushed or tidbits)
One 14 oz can Black Beans
One package Flour Tortillas
One can Cream of Chicken Soup
One small container Sour Cream (non-fat is fine)
Favorite cheese to grate over the top

Filling:
In a large skillet or sauce pan:
In Olive Oil, Brown three chicken breasts over medium heat. Dice and add back to the pan.
Add to the pan:
Diced Pepper
Drained Black Beans
Drained Pineapple. (Drink the juice. . .yum.)
Simmer until Chicken is cooked through.

Topping:
Mix together can of cream of chicken soup and desired amount of sour cream until smooth.

In a large rectangular glass pan, fill and roll tortillas. Place side by side until pan is full. Spread topping over the enchiladas, and top with a thin layer of your favorite cheese. Cover with Tin foil and Bake at 375 for half an hour, or until completely warmed.

Children often want seconds. Ü

This recipe is equally successful with canned chicken breast or freshly cooked chicken. If you would like to use canned, use two 12 oz cans.

2010-01-27T07:04:00.003-07:00

A woman's heart should be so lost in God that a man needs to seek Him so he can find her.

Lunchboxes

2010-01-22T13:07:00.000-07:00

I’ve decided that lunch boxes kind of define my life.

At first glance, they appear to be a never-ending routine of work. You fill them, they complain about what is in them, they partially empty them, you clean them out and then you fill them….again and again it goes. Not only do they need work to fill, you have a lot of prep work to get them ready to be filled. There is bread to make, groceries to buy and fruits and veggies to wash. There is guilt and worry involved as well: is this food good enough, healthy enough, non-processed enough? Will the other children/mothers/teachers think these lunches are good enough? Will the kids open their lunch and think of a loving mother or will the whole kit-n-caboodle get trashed immediately leaving my child begging for food, looking as if no one loved them?
If the first glance were accurate, I would have quit a long time ago, but luckily, upon further inspection, I see how valuable they are. I think of my mom and all the lunches she prepared for me and how we used to go through a loaf of bread EVERY day. But now she doesn’t have any lunchboxes left to fill. They go away you see…..they are not always there needing you to fill them. And if you worked hard and put up with the tireless routine, you look back on those lunchboxes with real joy. They represent true love and a stewardship given by a loving, trusting Heavenly Father. They represent enduring love, selflessness and what CAN be.

So you see, lunch boxes do define my life….what it is, what it looks like on the outsides verses what it feels like on the inside and what I hope it can be.

Hope....the real gift from Christmas

2010-01-02T13:08:00.002-07:00

It was a harried morning getting ready for church on Christmas day. Friday is when we have church in Egypt.....so, after reading the story of Christ's birth, opening gifts and the kids eating a lot of sugar, we were running late (not too surprising!). My husband was at a meeting and I was getting everyone ready. I felt like I wasn't connected to the "real" Christmas feelings that I wanted at all. We raced out the door and hustled to church, with me urging the children to walk faster the whole way. As we entered the villa, which is our church house here, and sat down in the front row, I was frustrated and tired. As I calmed my mind down and started to pray, my eye caught the sacrament table and the true joy of what Christmas is truly about settled over my soul. I was filled with the HOPE that Christ offers to all of us "weary travelers" on Earth. I realized then that I had recieved the best gift that day....the gift of true hope from our loving Savior, Jesus Christ.

The Best Gift

2009-12-22T12:55:00.001-07:00

One thing I have always loved to write is church talks. I don't even give them in church. I just write them. Richard G. Scott once called this type of thing..storing up treasures of knowledge. Writing down the sacred things I've learned helps me to organize the thoughts and principles of the gospel in a way that is more concrete than just thinking about them in my head. I like to keep them in a special journal, saving them for a future date to give to my children. They're my own little "Plates of Brass". I write those sacred things in the hopes that someday they will be of value to my children. I believe it helps me in my secular writing endeavors as well. Being able to record things in a meaningful way helps me to put more heart into my other writing, and it helps me learn to touch and inspire others with my writing at a deeper level.

Someday I will pass these treasures of knowledge on to my children. And I believe it will be the most important writing I've ever done.

My Precious Gift

2009-12-13T14:02:00.002-07:00

My life is a precious gift to me. But the gift of my family transcends all else. It is a sacred gift for which I give thanks with every breath I take. Important to me also, is my testimony. J. Reuban Clark, Jr. said, "A testimony is a sacred gift. It is not a matter to be boasted about; it is a matter in the greatest humility; to be used whenever the cause of the Lord requires it to be used, to be cherished, nurtured, fed by righteous living." A testimony of the gospel is an anchor to the soul in the midst of confusion and strife. When a person dies, their own life will be not only their eulogy but also their testimony. When we stand before the judgment bar we will be judged by what we are and that will be the sum total of what we have thought and said and done. It is obvious then that if we do things that are inconsistent with what we say, we will lose the blessings which might be earned by living a testimony.

Before Joan of Arc, the nineteen-year-old French peasant was to be burned alive, she was given a chance to retain her liberty by denying her faith. In choosing the fire above her freedom, she said:

THE WORLD CAN USE THESE WORDS I KNOW THIS NOW. EVERY MAN GIVES HIS LIFE FOR WHAT HE BELIEVES; EVERY WOMAN GIVES HER LIFE FOR WHAT SHE BELIEVES. SOMETIMES PEOPLE BELIEVE IN LITTLE OR NOTHING, AND YET THEY GIVE THEIR LIVES TO THAT LITTLE OR NOTHING. ONE LIFE IS ALL WE HAVE, AND WE LIVE IT AS WE BELIEVE IN LIVING IT, AND THEN IT'S GONE. BUT TO SURRENDER WHAT YOU ARE AND LIVE WITHOUT BELIEF IS MORE TERRIBLE THAN DYING, EVEN MORE TERRIBLE THAN DYING YOUNG.

We could say that this great person was an example of being, not seeming. She had a testimony that the cause she was fighting for was one worth defending. It is only as we take some active part in defending what we believe, or living up to our standards, that we will gain a truthfulness or testimony to the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Finishing the Book of Mormon again Today

2009-11-28T11:39:00.002-07:00

Moroni 10:23

And Christ truly said unto our fathers: If ye have faith ye can do all things which are expedient unto me.

To me, this is a very sweet verse. Everything Christ needs me to do, my faith will enable me to do through Him. The other things I will learn from and grow through, and that may be the only purpose of those experiences. When it is expedient unto Him, I will suceed. That's all I need to know.

Why do we go to Chruch?

2009-11-17T11:55:00.002-07:00

Moroni 6: 5-6

5 And the ^achurch did meet together ^boft, to ^cfast and to pray, and to speak one with another concerning the welfare of their souls.

6 And they did ^ameet together oft to partake of bread and wine, in ^bremembrance of the Lord Jesus.

How long have I been reading the Book of Mormon and honestly, this is the first time I've seen this scripture - Yes we go to fast and pray together, and to take the Sacrament. But we also go "to speak one with another concerning the welfare of our souls." How wonderful is that? That is exactly what happens in LDS meetings - we don't just sit and listen to a lecture and go home. Sunday School and Auxiliary Meetings provide opportunities for us to share with each other, to be sounding boards, to say to one another "You're being to hard on yourself", or "It's going to be okay." I just love the scriptures, and how they say new things every time I read them.

On Raising Children

2009-11-01T10:12:00.002-07:00

Two years ago, I was at a crossroads in my life. I was at the end of a beloved phase of my life, that of being at home full-time with my children. With my divorce came the necessity of working away from my home, and thankfully, my parents have been able to care for my children when I'm away. This morning I was opening my journal to write a bit about the week and opened an old journal instead, accidently. This is what I read.

I found a quote the other day on Ali Edwards' blog that seems to say what I'm can't.
Dawna Markova : I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance; to live so that which comes to me as seed goes to the next as blossom and that which comes to me as blossom, goes on as fruit.

Why waste a day worrying when there is so much that can be done to improve it? We have rules, and I reiterate the rules. I know that they are going to test the rules. It is the nature of curious children to test the rules. I try not to worry about messes that the kids will make either, because I know that the messes are going to happen. Sometimes BIG ones. Sometimes sticky ones. Often while in the process of breaking rules. There is almost no limit to the amount of imagination a child can transpose into mess form. Clean, happens - its true - but you can always be quite sure that mess is not far behind. Why worry?

I try to keep them safe. It's hard to improve on whole, healthy, intact bodies. I teach them not to fight, because angry voices destroy the peace we want in our home. Often enough, however, even these basic functions of motherhood find themselves thwarted. Sometimes, there is blood. Sometimes we need a stitch or two. Sometimes all you can hear is angry voices. This is the reason that some people have nannies. I take time when I need it, to talk to friends or relax. I do have to suffer through the craziness, but I'm also the one that gets all the good stuff. I watch it all happen, all day long, every day. No one can tell me that missing out on Q's tirades would be worth it. When I hear from those same little lips, a very sweet little voice saying, "I love you so much, Mommy. You're the best!" I know simultaneously what that voice is capable of and it melts me into a lump. You have to taste the bitter to know the sweet. You have to know the mess to appreciate the clean. You have to hear a lot of noise to truly savor a quiet moment.

Atonement

2009-09-29T11:17:00.003-06:00

How fitting that we contemplate atoning Jesus – bending and curved in Gethsemane. His bleeding curvature transformed the grammar of death. Until Gethsemane and Calvary, death was a punctuating, rigid exclamation point. Then death, too, curved – into a mere comma...

Neal A. Maxwell

The Most Wonderful Gift.

2009-09-06T16:08:00.002-06:00

In life, I don't think that there is any greater gift than of loving and being loved. I think that is exactly what the Savior is trying to tell us when he admonishes us to love one another as He has loved us. He wants us to understand the truth, that love is the greatest blessing and gift available to mankind.

There is no limit to the amount of love we can give - think about that. If we truly WANT to love others, we will find ways to love them even in difficult circumstances. It doesn't mean that we put ourselves at risk, just that we are willing to care and give without concern for what our gift will bring to us in return.

Not everyone accepts or wants the Savior's love. Many will refuse our love, too. Often we will find that those most in need of our love will openly attack or try to hurt us. They want to see how deep our love goes. I've seen this in children from time to time. When children are hurting, at times they lash out - often at the people they need most. It isn't an excuse to walk away - it is an opportunity to prove yourself steadfast. My children have been through a lot in the last year. When they are worried, they will often respond angrily - and the best medicine for that has simply been to gather them up in my arms and melt them with love. It has brought many a sweet moment to me which might otherwise been lost in power struggles.

Love isn't controlling or demanding. Love is patient and kind. Love is honest, true and chaste. Love is a very very beautiful way to live.

Children of the Prophets

2009-08-10T08:21:00.002-06:00

3 Nephi 20:25

And behold, ye are the ^achildren of the prophets; and ye are of the house of Israel; and ye are of the ^bcovenant which the Father made with your fathers, saying unto Abraham: And ^cin thy seed shall all the kindreds of the earth be blessed.

This scripture touched me today. I've heard it hundreds of times I'm sure, but the Spirit can give new meaning to old words. I felt so blessed to have this glorious gospel in my life.

. . . and now, a little boy needs to be snuggled - so off I go to my first choice in life - being his mom.

What I learned from my temple trip to Spain

2009-07-31T14:05:00.003-06:00

Living in Egypt, temple trips are far and in between. When my husband told me to pick a temple and fly there, I took him up on it:) The Madrid Temple is beautiful.

What I learned from my short visit there:
-from the backseat of a lost taxi, the beacon of the Angel Moroni can bring you to tears
-the sisterhood between women of the Gospel doesn't need a spoken language to be heard and felt
-there are devoted and wonderful people all over this earth, who have chosen to give up the assumptions of their country's "culture" and embrace the true principles of the Gospel
-you can take part in every aspect of the temple in any language, whether you understand it all or not, and partake of the fulness of joy that comes from it
-the celestial room in this temple has one of the most beautiful ceilings I have ever seen in any temple
-there are people serving others all across the earth, who will give up their lunch break to serve you as well
-physical and spiritual strenghtening are both possible, together.....and they are found in the temple, no matter where it is
-leaving your family in the Lord's care can strengthen your connection to them
-sacrifice really does bring forth blessings
-I can't wait to serve a mission with Brent when the kids are grown

"By Endurance We Conquer."

2009-07-07T11:52:00.001-06:00

This is an incredible against-all-odds story. I believe that I will be drawing courage and inspiration from this man and his courage for the rest of my life.

The story of Sir Ernest Shackleton, as told by Allyson Lewis. The Seven Minute Difference, pp. 2-5.

Sir Ernest Shackleton, one of history's most daring navigators, was a manwhose purpose was to leadexplorations of earth'sunknown areas.In pursuit ofthat purpose, Shackletondetermined that he would leadan expedition to explore theAntarctic. He knew that the area held a wealth of important scientific information, and that such an expedition would be both historically and scientifically significant. He had a vision, he had a purpose, and he had a burning desire to accomplish things that no man had ever accomplished.

Shackleton and a crew of 26 (and a stowaway) set sail from Plymouth, England, on August 1, 1914, aboard the Endurance, a ship named for the Shackleton family motto "By Endurance We Conquer." After sailing around the tip of South America, the ship slowly made its way through the thickening ice of the Atlantic Ocean until the crew could see the Antarctic continent before them. Then, on Janurary 19, 1915, the ship stopped completely as the huge ice floes that clogged the sea trapped it.

With no other perceived options, Shackleton decided to wait until the spring thaw. Throughout the long dark Antarctic winter the ship was locked in place, the men stranded. As a leader, Shakleton knew that he must keep the crew's spirits high or they would never be able to endure the horrible cold and loneliness of this desolate situation. He led the men in games of football and hockey on the ice. The celebrated holidays, sang patriotic songs, and raced their dog sleds in what they called the Antarctic Derby.

After ten long months, the ice floes began to shift; but instead of freeing the Endurance, they slowly crushed the ship and dragged her to the bottom of the ocean. The crew unloaded as many supplies as they could, salvaging food, lifeboats, sled dogs, and supplies, then made camp on the ice floe that had crushed their ship. If you have ever felt trapped by circumstances beyond your control, adrift, or crushed by the shifting changes of the world around you, you might have some concept of the challenges facing Shackleton and his crew during these agonizing months.

Again, Shackleton stepped forward as the leader stepped forward as a leader. He gave his men his word that he would return every one of them safely to England. He did not allow them to consider the possibility that they would fail. Shackleton assigned daily rotating duties to the men, to keep them all engaged and actively at work on achieving their purpose. He reminded them frequently of their return voyage, and he kept their dreams of home always vivid in their minds. He asked the men to describe their homes; the counties where they lived; their wives, children, parents, and friends. He treated the idea of a successful voyage home as a forgone conclusion, and made the goal of achieving that dream the driving force behind every crew member's work and purpose.

On April 12, 4 months after the breakup of the Endurance, the ice floe on which the men were camped broke free and drifted within 30 miles of tiny Elephant Island. In a courageous dash, Shackleton and his crew boarded their three tiny lifeboats and sailed for the relative safety of the island. Amazingly, all three boats landed safely. Although they were able to shelter in the inhospitable place, the only source of food on the island was its flocks of penguins. Shackleton knew that without vegetables, he and his men would contract scurvy and die, and he was determined to avoid such a horrible conclusion to their venture.

So, in a 22 1/2 foot lifeboat named the James Caird, Shackleton and five of his men set out to make the whaling station on South Georgia Island, a 25 mile strip of land 800 miles away, across the open and stormy sea. With nothing more than a compass to guide them, Shackleton and 5 other crew members accomplished on of the greatest navigational feats in history and landed on the southern coast of the Georgia Island on May 10, just 17 days after launching.

Leading his tiny crew over uncharted mountains, through an icy rushing stream, and down the 30-foot drop of a waterfall, Shackleton successfully reached the whaling station within 36 hours after landing on the small island. Then after 4 months of repeated efforts to return, Shackleton successfully sailed back to Elephant Island and rescued his remaining 22 crew members. When he landed back on the island 105 days after leaving, he was amazed to find that all of his men remained alive. As Shackleton had promised, he and his men realized their dream; all of them returned to their homes in England. These were ordinary men with the same dreams and fears we ahe, but, by sharing the deep and passionate purpose of their leader, they persevered in the pursuit of an incredible achievement. Shackleton and his crew formulated common goals, and made sue that every choice they made and every action they undertook specifically moved them closer to those goals. The drew upon their strengths to survive throughout enormous hardship. Shackleton's core belief in a single, powerful dream guided them.

Just when you think it can't get any worse. . .

2009-07-02T21:40:00.002-06:00

even as you are struggling to do the Lord's Will, sometimes things will happen that tear at your heart and soul. Those moments test your resolve and help you sift away the unimportant details that at times demand your attention. As terrible as they are, in all the pain they cause, they will strengthen you. They will clarify and bring into focus the most important elements of your life. You will be able to see choices and commitments in a completely new light. You will realize more fully the joys that are yours, in the road you have chosen and with whom you are blessed to travel. You will be more like your Savior, and your love for Him will grow.

That's what Mother Teresa said.

2009-06-11T16:57:00.000-06:00

Love does not measure; it just gives.

We can do no great things; only small things with great love.

Little things are indeed little, but to be faithful in little things is a great thing.

I want you to be concerned about your next door neighbor. Do you know your next door neighbor?

Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.

We need to find God, and God cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature--trees and flowers and grass--grow in silence. See the stars, the moon, and the sun, how they move in silence. The more we receive in silent prayer, the more we can give in our active life.

There is a terrible hunger for love. We all experience that in our lives - the pain, the loneliness. We must have the courage to recognize it. The poor you may have right in your own family. Find them. Love them.

Before you speak, it is necessary for you to listen, for God speaks in the silence of the heart.

Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired.

I do not pray for success, I ask for faithfulness.

Give yourself fully to God. He will use you to accomplish great things on the condition that you believe much more in His love than in your own weakness.

If you judge people, you have no time to love them.

Speak tenderly to them. Let there be kindness in your face, in your eyes, in your smile, in the warmth of your greeting. Always have a cheerful smile. Don't only give your care, but give your heart as well.

I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much.

The more you have, the more you are occupied, the less you give. But the less you have the more free you are. Poverty for us is a freedom. It is not mortification, a penance. It is joyful freedom. There is no television here, no this, no that. But we are perfectly happy.

I pray that you will understand the words of Jesus, “Love one another as I have loved you.” Ask yourself “How has he loved me? Do I really love others in the same way?” Unless this love is among us, we can kill ourselves with work and it will only be work, not love. Work without love is slavery.

A sacrifice to be real must cost, must hurt, must empty ourselves. The fruit of silence is prayer, the fruit of prayer is faith, the fruit of faith is love, the fruit of love is service, the fruit of service is peace.

When once a chairman of a multinational company came to see me, to offer me a property in Bombay, he first asked: “Mother, how do you manage your budget?" I asked him who had sent him here. He replied: ‘I felt an urge inside me.’ I said: other people like you come to see me and say the same. It was clear God sent you, Mr. A, as He sends Mr. X, Mrs. Y, Miss Z, and they provide the material means we need for our work. The grace of God is what moved you. You are my budget. God sees to our needs, as Jesus promised. I accepted the property he gave and named it Asha Dan (Gift of Hope).

Like Jesus we belong to the world living not for ourselves but for others. The joy of the Lord is our strength.

There is only one God and He is God to all; therefore it is important that everyone is seen as equal before God. I’ve always said we should help a Hindu become a better Hindu, a Muslim become a better Muslim, a Catholic become a better Catholic. We believe our work should be our example to people.

When a poor person dies of hunger, it has not happened because God did not take care of him or her. It has happened because neither you nor I wanted to give that person what he or she needed.

We have to share with our people. Suffering today is because people are hoarding, not giving, not sharing. Jesus made it very clear. Whatever you do to the least of my brethren, you do it to me. Give a glass of water, you give it to me. Receive a little child, you receive me.

Everybody today seems to be in such a terrible rush, anxious for greater developments and greater riches and so on, so that children have very little time for their parents. Parents have very little time for each other, and in the home begins the disruption of peace of the world.

If we really want to love we must learn how to forgive..

There is no greater sickness in the world today than the lack of love.

God loves a cheerful giver. She or he gives best who gives with a smile.

The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread.

Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.

God made the world rich enough to feed and clothe all human beings.

Pride destroys everything. To imitate Jesus is the key to be meek and humble in heart.

People who love each other fully and truly are the happiest people in the world. They may have little, they may have nothing, but they are happy people. Everything depends on how we love one another.

When I was crossing into Gaza, I was asked at the checkpost whether I was carrying any weapons. I replied: Oh yes, my prayer books.

If you have a sick or lonely person at home, be there. Maybe just to hold a hand, maybe just to give a smile, that is the greatest, the most beautiful work.

Prayer gives us a pure heart and a pure heart can do much.

Keep your heart pure. A pure heart is necessary to see God in each other. If you see God in each other, there is love for each other, then there is peace.

The poor do not need our sympathy and our pity. The poor need our love and compassion.

I don't know what God is doing. He knows.We do not understand, but of one thing I'm sure, He doesn't make a mistake.

God has created us to love and to be loved, and this is the beginning of prayer--to know that he loves me, that I have been created for greater things.

The joy of Jesus will be my strength--it will be in my heart. Every person I meet will see it in my work, my walk, my prayer--in everything.

Keep the light of Christ always shining in your hearts. Only He is the Way to be trodden. He is the Truth we must speak out. He is the Love we must love.

Faith in action is love, and love in action is service. By transforming that faith into living acts of love, we put ourselves in contact with God Himself, with Jesus our Lord.

Christ is hidden under the suffering appearance of anyone who is hungry, naked, homeless, or dying.

People are hungry for God. Do you see that? Quite often we look but do not see. We are all passing through this world. We need to open our eyes and see.

We must convert our love for Christ into deeds. We must express Christian love in concrete, living ways.

Let us bring love and compassion to win the world, to bring the world the gospel of Christ.

Let us all bring the good news that God loves the world!

You who have received so much love, share it with others. Love others the way that God has loved you, with tenderness.

My prayer for you is that you come to understand and have the courage to answer Jesus' call to you with the simple word 'yes'.

A clean heart is a free heart. A free heart can love Christ with an undivided love in chastity, convinced that nothing and nobody will separate it from his love.

Prayer

2009-06-05T09:28:00.003-06:00

For a few years I had been having a soft, but persistent feeling that I needed to work on the sincerity of my prayers. My husband sometimes likes to tease me about my morning prayer which generally lasts quite a long time…he says, “well you certainly look angelic, but I don’t know how much of that is due to prayer and how much to drifting in and out of peaceful slumber…”

Then one day I was preparing to give a talk at a Friday Forum and I was pretty proud of how I had organized the principle of joy into this neat little packaged equation. I was telling a very spiritual friend I have in the other ward about how it was so easy….if you keep commandments, pray, and do this and this,,,then you get the gift of joy. And she said “Wonderful! You have just described the letter of the law…now let me tell you about the spirit of the law. And she taught me that some people are going through all the motions, obeying the commandments…yet still they are not experiencing joy….the reason is, that it’s not just a matter of the acts…it is also a matter of the heart….and the acts are just a preparation to a change of heart.

Then she told me about her prayer experiences and her prayer journal. She said that sometimes she could almost feel her prayers ascending to the throne of God and feel Him reaching down to her. She was having these beautiful prayer experiences where she and Heavenly Father were partners in bringing great works to pass in her life and the lives of others.

I have had that experience a few times, but rarely, and I didn’t know why it happened when it happened…Most of the time I had been going through all the motions and not experiencing real and powerful prayer…I wanted that experience. I decided to experiment to find out just what was required in order to gain experiences like my friend.

My first tries were mostly failures. I tried more intensity, more desire, concentrating harder…all acts that didn’t work. After several months of failed experiments I began to get discouraged.

But then one day, quite by accident, something happened. A friend had emailed me a video of “Oh Holy Night that was sung along with pictures of the Nativity. And when I watched that something overcame me and the spirit was so strong that I was driven to my knees in awe and wonder and gratitude for the atonement and a desire that all men should be able to feel the love of God. During that prayer I realized that I was having the type of experience my friend described. And so I asked the Lord, “How is it done?’ I had to ponder it for several weeks before I figured out the answer.

Then I finally realized what my friend had been trying to teach me about prayer. It is not just a matter of the words or the acts…it is a matter of the heart.

What was different about that prayer, than all my other prayers when I hadn’t had that experience? It was the Spirit.

1. I had prepared before hand to feel the Spirit.
2. The spirit was present during the prayer.
3. I had allowed the spirit to enter my heart, and the spirit made my heart become unified with the Lord, It filled me with a powerful Love of God and Also Love of my fellow man….and an intense gratitude for the atonement….and thus instead of me rattling off a list of my needs and hoping somebody would hear….it became a sacred partnership…my will and the Lord’s will suddenly unified, and the prayer became powerful in a way that I had not felt in a long time.

Then I realized that preparing before, during, and after prayer to have the spirit present in order to make my heart and will one with Gods, is the way to meaningful and powerful prayer.
Elder Russell M. Nelson confirmed that having the spirit present is the true order of prayer….He said, “Jesus taught us how to pray. We pray to our Heavenly Father, in the name of Jesus Christ, by the power of the Holy Ghost. This is the ‘true order of prayer’.”

I don't have time to prepare for prayer and have these experiences every day. But I have been trying to do it more. And it has made all the difference.

Why I Run

2009-05-29T12:41:00.002-06:00

Runner's World has a feature each month where they profile some notable non "runner" person who actually runs and the feature chronicles how they fit the running in and why they do it. Some of these people are actors, writers, statesmen, chefs, etc. But they have all found that running helps them achieve the balance in their lives that they seek.

Luke 2:52 says "And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man." To me, this verse is the definition of balanced growth. I know that when I am regularly doing something (even if it's a baby step) in each of these areas (intellectual, physical, social and spiritual), I am happier, I am a better person, mom, and daughter of God. I can best hear the answers I seek from the Lord when I am balanced in my efforts at this life. I can best offer my husband and children the nourishment they need when I am replete. Being replete as a mom is not easy.

A few years ago, I felt like I should begin some sort of exercise program. I don't remember what exactly I tried, just that I gave the usual "New Year's Resolution" attention to the idea, that is to say, not much. Some time later, I was in the temple seeking answers. Once again, I no longer remember what answers I was seeking, just that I needed them. As I was worshipping in the temple, I heard in my mind the sentence: "You have not been true and faithful." Ouch. I knew at that moment that I would already have the answers I was seeking if I had given serious thought and effort to the exercise program I had been impressed to begin. I had not been faithful and so I was not entitled to or prepared for the answers I needed until I did my homework. So for me, some sort of regular exercise feels like a personal commandment.

Running has been the activity that I can best sustain over the long haul. It is very low tech, requiring no special location and no special apparel or equipment other than a good pair of running shoes. I can open my front door and begin running at any time of day and in any weather. I can run on vacation or at home. Running is the thing that I can do to be alone or to be with a friend. Both have their place. But running is always something that I do as a person, not with my mommy hat on (although it definitely impacts the sort of mommy I am).

Over the years running has taught me a few things.

I can do hard things. When I started running as a mommy, I started slow--10 minutes, then 15 minutes, slowly building up to what I could actually call a cardiovascular workout. Eventually, I began running races, first a 10K and now I'm training for my first marathon in the fall. I don't run fast and I don't train for a time. I sign up for races because it gives me a tangible goal to work toward, to keep up with the program when sleeping in is too tempting (not that it ever actually works out in my favor). And when I am done, I have something I can show myself in times of trial, to remind myself that I am strong. I have done hard things.

The power of baby steps. Running requires build up. It is unwise to run your first 10 minutes one day and then run 26.2 miles the next day. Assuming you even complete the distance, you will pay for it in spades. I have learned as I run that I can achieve many seemingly insurmountable things if I can divide the task into small pieces, growing along the way. In taking these baby steps it is important not to say, "I only ran 2 minutes today" but to say "Yeah, I RAN today." There is power in taking baby steps, because you are moving.

The rewards for running may have little to do with physical health.
I run races with my baby sister and that has given us a rich new facet to our relationship. We chat as we run during the race and we bond and commiserate as we train, even though we live several hundred miles apart. We are eight years apart in age, but we have a very close relationship because we have chosen to have running in common. We find, as we run, that we have many other things in common as well.
Answers to questions may come to me as I run, either because I'm running with a friend who can help me think through things or because I am running on my own and can "be still" while I run. I know that I am entitled to answers and blessings because running prepares me to understand them.

You can't water flowers with an empty pitcher. Running on an empty stomach or similarly on too many bad nights' sleep is suicidal. But how many times do we run figuratively on empty, giving insufficient heed to spiritual and physical nourishment and rest? I know that I can't give my husband and family my all if I have nothing to give. I have to refill my pitcher to be able to share. When I take the time to care for my body and spirit, my ability to share that preparation is boundless. My proverbial garden can bloom aplenty because I have the water to feed it.

I know I need to exercise. I need to care for this body, this second estate, with which I have been entrusted. Running makes me strong in mind and body. It enriches my relationships and deepens my feelings of self worth. When I run, I marvel at the wonder that is my body. "Look Father what I can do with this wonderful gift You have given me!" I guess in a very long term sense, I am running HOME.

What do you do and why do you do it?

Cold here tonight

2009-05-29T09:23:00.002-06:00

It’s cold here tonight.

I am shaking just a little bit

as I write.

It’s not bad.

It seems to echo my heart.

Poor shaking heart.

Poor frightened heart.

This is my road.

It is icy and a bit dangerous.

There’s so much

at stake, so many things hanging

in the balance.

Steady now eyes.

Steady hands,

steady.

Winter will give way

to spring.

It is as certain

as the sunrise.

It will come.

Dream, heart

and feel,

your warmest days

unfolding.

I wrote this in January, and forgot about it. I was so happy to read it again today, now that warmer days have certainly come. I could never have imagined a year ago what my life would be today. I am happier in almost every way. We can't always imagine what the future has in store.

I'm at another crossroads - just as I was last May. I've felt the stress, which has been profound. This time, however, I feel stronger. Experience is an excellent teacher. This next thought is going to sound random, but I'll tie it in, I promise. I've been teaching my children to float when we go to the pool. It is the first rule of water safety. Panic is your aquatic enemy. You must relax completely and be absolutely still. It occurs to me that in life, as well, thrashing around and panicking in a sea of stress is wasted energy, and possibly even emotionally lethal. We are often told to "Be Still." At times like this, even when there is literally a SEA of stress that seems as ifit would swallow me whole, quiet faith calls for that stillness. Experience has taught me to follow my heart, and allow the greater powers of the universe to guide my life.

Food for Thought

2009-04-29T17:03:00.002-06:00

This clip is too long for blogger to embed, but watching it was worth the time for me. It is from Education Week at BYU a couple of years ago. The speaker is Connie E. Sokol. She talks about health, body image, and getting to the place where we are fit and fabulous and best able to enjoy the gift of life and vitality the Lord has given us. My favorite single line from it: "Don't water fake plants"

http://byubms.byu.edu/edweek/2007/ED_Week_1201_Sokol.mp4

A Triathlon. A Triathlon.

2009-04-28T06:55:00.003-06:00

I'm at a pivotal point in my life this week. It is very unlikely that my divorce will NOT be final within the next few days. My soon to be ex-husband has been enjoying parent time with the children in his new home on extended weekends and every Thursday night. That leaves me with time on my hands, which is something I have not experienced often as the mother of five. Time on my hands could be a bitter enemy if I allowed myself to wallow in the absence of my children. Friends have encouraged me to stay busy, and I quickly understood that their counsel was a literal life-line for me. I've tackled projects which would otherwise have been impossible with my children here. This weekend, I painted bathrooms. Soon, with the help of family and friends, I'll get the baseboards back on my walls which have been missing for 2 1/2 years. I have some desires to garden and landscape my yard. I have been reading more. I knew I needed more, however. I needed something to focus on over a long period of time, and I needed physical exercise.

I've decided to compete in a triathlon, or better said, start training to compete. I have never run for exercise, although I have walked. I have never biked for exercise - except very minimally at a gym. In high school I swam, and though I wasn't gifted by any means - I loved it. My sisters are runners, some from very early on and some only within the last couple of years, and they have been competing in marathons and half-marathons. It has been inspiring to me to witness the enjoyment and purpose it gives them to train and work hard for those goals. Running has never appealed to me at any level, but still - I was inspired. Triathlon seemed like a natural choice for me, given my love of swimming. Better yet, it would allow me to incorporate other forms of exercise into my training. I've tried swimming alone for exercise, and it is very difficult, time-wise. If I have three areas of concentration, I can suit my training to the amount of time I have, which will vary greatly. Since I know I will have every Thursday night for example, I can plan to swim on Thursday nights. As all of these thoughts began to mesh and come together in my mind, I developed a desire which has become a resolve, to set the goal and start the work. The goal is to be ready within one year. It is realistic, and yet still challenging. It feels wonderful.

Find ways within the construct of your life to meet your real needs. Set real and realistic goals for yourself. At one point, my goal was simply to learn more about and begin a yoga program. That blessed my life at the time, because it was breaking a cycle and putting my needs first in a way which I had not done before. If there are cycles with keep you trapped in unhealthiness, center your goals there. They have to be simple and focused on real possibilities. Let the Spirit guide you, a those goals will bring you out into the light. You deserve it, and the ones who love and depend on you will benefit as much as you do.

Simple

2009-04-20T06:00:00.001-06:00

Arms of Safety

2009-04-19T08:48:00.004-06:00

I taught in Relief Society about the arms of safety spoken of in Alma, by Amulek to the Zoramites. I taught about how the Atonement is literally our safety encircled about us. I taught about how Jesus really is the author of real, deep, abiding peace. I taught things I had heard before......but I learned in a fresh, new, real way. I learned that because of Jesus Christ, I am enough. My efforts are going to be enough and my seed (me) is going to yield fruit. He solves the great dilemma: God cannot withstand any unclean thing and I sin and am unclean. He bridges the gap and if I join my liabilities with His assets, I can become perfect, ONLY THROUGH HIM. I can't save myself, and I can't believe in Christ for everyone else but not actually BELIEVE that He can do all He has promised for me as well. I am so grateful for Jesus Christ and I really do know, as though it is ingrained in the flesh of my heart, that Jesus Christ can make me, and each of us, enough.

You are Divine

2009-03-26T06:08:00.000-06:00

“God planted within women something divine.” Teachings of Gordon B. Hinckley (1997), 387

Come Out Of The World!

2009-03-25T14:24:00.002-06:00

One of my favorite statements of the Prophet Joseph Smith is at the end of his account of the First Vision: "It seems as though the adversary was aware, at a very early period of my life, that I was destined to prove a disturber and an annoyer of his kingdom; else why should the powers of darkness combine against me?"
What was true of Joseph Smith is true of all of us. We were born to disturb and annoy the devil's kingdom. His rule of the lakeshore will not go unopposed. He will in the end be crushed, just as the Lord indicated in the Garden of Eden before the great battle began. We will be part of his defeat. We intend to take possession of the entire earth, and we will do so. It should not surprise us that he will hinder us at every turn, but the Lord's "widsom is greater than the cunning of the devil." Let us avail ourselves of that wisdom. It is contained in the words of prophets and apostles, both written and spoken.. It is whispered by the Holy Ghost. It is exemplified in the life of God's well-beloved Son. Let us trust in His love for us and diligently labor to deepen our love for Him. Then, as the Book of Mormon promises, we will "land our souls, yea, our immortal souls, at the right hand of God in the kingdom of heaven, to sit down with Abraham, and Isaac, and with Jacob, and with all our holy fathers, to go no more out." (Heleman 3:30.)

Mormon Messages - You Tube page.

2009-03-24T07:06:00.002-06:00

CREATE. Deiter F. Uchtdorf

The link in "CREATE" above will take you to the page. This one is particularly inspiring and I hope to check out the others as well. What a great place for a little pick me up.

For the Love of Egypt

2009-03-07T23:12:00.003-07:00

Our family has been residents of Cairo, Egypt now for about 2 weeks. We are learning a lot, seeing a lot and having our gratitude grow in so many ways. One thing I noticed right away about life here is that most of the Egyptian people seem to live in survival mode all the time. It really explains why some things are the way they are here....if we all lived in survival mode ALL the time, without really any enforcement of normal laws, things would be a lot more chaotic, self-focused and nonsensical (as Elizabeth Bennet put it).
While sitting in the villa they use for a church house here, I was thinking about this and realized that the pure love of Jesus Christ and His gospel is really the only way to combat these issues. Prostelyting is strictly forbidden here, but loving someone the way Christ does isn't:) I found my loophole and I know it is the way, one person at a time, to break through the chaos and find peace. As I had this thought, a greater capacity to love the people here seemed to overtake my heart. I feel love and peace and a true desire to share that love. There are risks involved, which have stopped some from reaching out....safety, fear, being uncomfortable, etc....but I feel if I(and our family) go forward with loving, open hearts, trusting that Heavenly Father will guide us through the Holy Ghost, then all will work together for our good and the good of the people we come into contact with here in this amazing land called Egypt.

Bringing Prayer and Scripture Study to your Children.

2009-02-23T09:01:00.005-07:00

I'm posting this mainly in the hope that it will be a comforting and helpful perspective. Right now my family is in what could be considered "worst case scenario" as far as family life goes. I've been actively searching for ways to strengthen my children and I hit on something that I hadn't really considered before, but which I feel could be a key in helping me to accomplish this.
First, I've felt it was very important to pray and read from the scriptures with my children, but have found that their attention spans and moods vary so widely (they are ages 3-13) that my efforts have been largely ineffective. I found something recently that has worked very well. I say very well, but that is somewhat of an understatement. This simple practice has completely changed the moods of our evening gatherings. Before the first one goes to bed at night, we all gather in my room, and we read one or two scripture passages. Then we pray. We cut out the time it takes to get everyone a book and the "which verse are we on?" and "do we have to read" - and go straight to the meat of the matter. Teaching. For Christmas years ago, my mother made cards for each of us (4.25" x 5.5") with her favorite scriptures on them. Now, we take one card each night, someone reads it aloud, maybe two or three times if necessary, we TALK about it and we pray. (I am going to go through the cards to be sure that they contain all of scriptures that have special meaning to me.) What I know already, however, is that THIS WORKS. We now have some meaningful time in the scriptures together whenever I am home in the evening, and our prayer time has improved as well, thanks to the Spirit that comes as we read and discuss the scriptures. We may at some point be able to sit together, all reading from books, but as a place to start, I highly recommend this option.
Second, in a related but separate vein, I have been especially concerned with how to strengthen my teen son. I have been pleased with the progress I mentioned above, but found something in a little pamphlet that caught my attention. I will just quote it. "In a gospel-centered home, each family member should have a plan for individual gospel study centered on the scriptures . . . IN ADDITION, you may wish to gather with your family for a few minutes each day to study the scriptures. . ." Essentially, what I realized is something I already knew but wasn't sure how to apply. What each family member needs first and foremost is their own personal experiences with the scriptures. My son will benefit most from reading on his own. I talked to him about it this morning on the way to school - which is about our only "alone" time each day. I invited him to read just one or two verses each day, and promised him that Heavenly Father would bless him with the peace and strength that he needs to make it through these incredibly difficult times if he will do that simple thing. The great part is, I know that the Lord will make good on that promise. What a blessing! I plan to make this invitation to all my reading children, and look forward to helping them to recognize the benefits of scripture study in their lives.

2009-02-06T07:17:00.009-07:00

True faith is always tested faith.

“Don’t Shove Me”

2009-01-26T08:17:00.001-07:00

Harold B. Lee, “‘Don’t Shove Me’,” Ensign, Apr. 1975, 60

I had an experience once that taught me something as a grandfather. It was the night of the June Dance Festival at the University of Utah football stadium, and my daughter’s two oldest children were giving her a “bad time,” as she called it. So I said, “How would you like it if I took your two boys up to the stadium to the dance festival?” She said, “Oh, Daddy, if you’d do that, I’d be so happy.”

I didn’t know what I was getting into, but I took those two boys; one of them was five and the other nearly seven. I didn’t know there was so much difference between a seven-year-old and a five-year-old. The older boy was entranced by that spectacle down on the football field. But that five-year-old, his attention span was pretty short. He’d squirm, and then he’d want to go get a hot dog and he’d want to get a drink and he’d want to go to the toilet, and he was just on the move all the time.

And here I was sitting up front with the General Authorities, and they were smiling at this little show going on as I tried to pull my grandson here and there to make him behave. Finally that little five-year-old turned on me and, with his little doubled-up fist, he smacked me on the side of the face and he said, “Grandfather, don’t shove me!”

And you know, that hurt. In the twilight I thought I could see my brethren chuckling a bit as they saw this going on, and my first impulse was to take him and give him a good spanking. That’s what he deserved. But I’d seen his little mother do something. I’d seen her when he was having a temper tantrum. She had a saying, “You have to love your children when they’re the least lovable.”

So I thought I’d try that out. I had failed in the other process. I took him in my arms and I said to him, “My boy, Grandfather loves you. I so much want you to grow up to be a fine big boy. I just want you to know that I love you.” And his angry little body began to unlimber, and he threw his arms around my neck and he kissed my cheek and he loved me. I had conquered him by love.

President Harold B. Lee
(Sunday School Conference address, October 5, 1973)

2009-01-22T06:27:00.002-07:00

Forgiveness is the sweet smell of the rose clinging to the heel that crushed it.

When there is a rough day . . . remember.

2009-01-05T22:04:00.001-07:00

Romans 8:18. . . the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.

QUOTE

2009-01-05T14:44:00.001-07:00

"Sisters, I wish I could place my hands on both sides of your faces, look deeply into your eyes, and impart to you a clear vision of your vital role as beloved daughters of God whose “lives have meaning, purpose, and direction.” We are women who “increase our testimonies of Jesus Christ through prayer and scripture study,” who “seek spiritual strength by following the promptings of the Holy Ghost.” We “dedicate ourselves to strengthening marriages, families, and homes” and “find nobility in motherhood and joy in womanhood.” Mary Ellen W. Smoot, “Steadfast and Immovable,” Ensign, Nov 2001, 91

The Power of Spirituality

2009-01-04T12:57:00.002-07:00

The word "spirituality" conjures up a wide range of feelings, attitudes, opinions, and responses, depending on an individual's upbringing, religious preference, experience, and lifestyle. It seems that spirituality has become a lost art. People seem afraid of offending others by talking about spiritual matters in mixed circles. Others are reluctant to develop spirituality along with their mental, emotional, physical and social talents.
I believe spirituality is the greatest of all the talents and gifts we can acquire, but it must be developed. Spirituality helps us understand our feelings. If we become past feeling, we are in trouble as individuals, families, communities, and nations. We must be able to feel or we lose the ability to care and feel compassion for others. As the old saying goes: We are not human beings trying to have a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings trying to have a human experience.
The prolific writer and thinker C.S. Lewis made this perceptive observation: "It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or the other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ORDINARY people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations--these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit--immortal horrors or everlasting splendors".

Two Thousand and Nine is coming!

2008-12-30T08:30:00.004-07:00

I'm excited for the New Year. Not for parties, because the only party I'm invited to will end before I can get there after work. For me, this year it is mostly about beginning again. I've come through a lot in the last few years and this moment in time feels like having reached a mountaintop. I recognize how far I've come from where I used to be - and the road ahead gets clearer each day. I have placed my hand in the Lord's, and he is guiding me. I have a lot of work ahead of me, no matter what I choose, but in honesty life is good and I am looking forward to it. I must be smart, and make good choices for my family. I will be faithful and strong, because that is the road to happiness. I will be loving and compassionate, because that is the road to peace.

This year is about a few things. Finding a career and some stability for my family. A "job" just can't do that. Second, bringing the Savior more to my children. Third, my health - I want to be stronger physically.
The Career will come. I will continue to put my faith and trust in the Lord. He will take me where He wants me to go. Trust is a big word here, but it is good.

For me, leading my children to do the simple things - reading the scriptures, and having family prayer - is the hardest. They give me so much opposition, it brings me to tears - literally. My desire is to teach them the gospel, help them to build a strong foundation of their own for the times in their lives when they must rely on the Lord. If it brings me to tears of frustration every day, I will still keep trying. I will give myself credit for the trying and I will not give up. It is too important. Some days are better than others. I have learned that creativity is the way to my goal. If I can't get them all to sit still in the living room, I can get them to come to the computer - so, some days we read online. Sometimes we pray at the beside of the one who has to get to bed first. Sometimes we pray at the dinner table. I have to be scrappy and quick. We have Family Home Evening when I have a night off. In a family where the schedule changes weekly, it's not about a specific evening - it's about what works. I am the only one who can do this for my children and I have to think on my feet. It's too important. I will give myself credit for trying, even and maybe especially when they ignore and oppose me. I will not quit.

Looking out for my health is a natural outgrowth of needing to release the tension in my body. Yoga, Dance, Walking - whatever it is that I feel like doing. I need to take care of myself. It is a way to be loving with myself, to show myself that I appreciate what is happening in my life. Yoga is especially loving. It just feels so GOOD to stretch - and it can elevate my heart rate as well as any low-impact aerobics, maybe better. I realized a long time ago, that my body doesn't like very strenuous exercise - it needs a lot of slow methodic motion. I think that's why my job has been good for my physically. I'm constantly on the move. A career that keeps me moving would probably be wise, as well. Adding in a little more exercise in the mornings is just another way to say, "I like you! Let's make you feel better today!" It's SO not about looking a certain way, or being "thinner" - I just want to be strong and healthy. That is what feels good to me.

So, I'm looking forward to this year. Let's GO!

Joy to Everyone This Christmas

2008-12-06T09:36:00.006-07:00

Don’t miss the opportunity to view and share Joy to Everyone This Christmas at

http://www.joytoeveryone.com

The College of Fine Arts and Communications of Brigham Young University is giving the gift of music this Christmas, offering a new song and music video to download or share for free.

The song, Joy to Everyone This Christmas, was written and produced by Stephen Jones, dean of the college, in collaboration with Emmy-award winning composer and producer Sam Cardon and vocalists Jenny Jordan Frogley and David Osmond. The music video features images from university photographer Mark Philbrick.

Enjoy this beautiful new Christmas song and video produced by the Brigham Young University College of Fine Arts and Communication, copyright 2008.

What will our gift to the Savior be?

2008-11-20T07:49:00.002-07:00

We are celebrating his birth after all. I was just wondering what each of you will be doing this Christmas Season to recognize Him, share His love and bless others. I've been pondering on this and would love to hear what everyone has to say!

Faith not Fear

2008-11-16T07:23:00.006-07:00

Isaiah 7:4 Take heed and be quiet; fear not neither be fainthearted.

So essentially: listen and have faith.

So simple and straightforward, yet so applicable to life right now. Fear seems to be the motivator behind much control issues and self-esteem issues. Satan plays on those fears and they are perpetuated inside of us by untrue thoughts that we don't recognize as untrue and keep thinking. I think that guilt, depression, discouragement and much more negative things come from fear and from these untrue thoughts. When I read this from Isaiah, it just connected all those dots for me and I realized that our Heavenly Father doesn't use fear as a motivator. He doesn't use guilt, discouragement. These are Satan's tools. Heavenly Father uses faith and love. If we stop for a minute.....stop fearing.... and just listen with faith then the truth can come to us through the Holy Ghost and our thoughts can be true and our feelings can be based on those true thoughts and we can grow in faith and obedience.......and not fear. We can truly go forward in faith.
I am thankful for the scriptures that teach so much, for our wise Heavenly Father who teaches line, upon line and for the Spirit who brings truth to our attention in so many different ways.

Joy

2008-10-23T15:08:00.002-06:00

A friend recently confided that she just couldn’t forgive herself for her past mistakes. She said she kept dwelling on the fact that she made them and that she should have done things differently. I know I have felt that way at times, but as I was talking to her I was reminded of a scripture story. It was the one where the Pharisees brought the adulteress for Jesus to condemn, so they could stone her. Then Jesus said, he who was without sin should cast the first stone. When all the men had gone, Jesus finally said, “Neither do I condemn thee. Go and sin no more.”

To me, that story embodies the true meaning of repentance. Repentance is not about beating yourself up or ‘stoning yourself’ over the mistakes you make. Repentance is about turning away from sin and getting back on the right path. It’s about never giving up. It’s about picking yourself up when you fail and keeping on trying. We do this by taking the sacrament each week and trying to keep our covenants as best we can. We all fall short. And that was part of the plan. It’s how we were supposed to learn and progress. When we don’t allow Christ to free us from the sorrow of sin, we stop our progression and learning.

Someone once said that life is like an airplane ride. Airplanes don’t go straight from point A to point B. They are continually making adjustments to get back to the path that will take them to where they want to go. In a similar manner we also must continually make adjustments to get back in harmony with God’s laws. This is not sad! It is happy! That Christ made it possible for us to do this! Each time we repent we should rejoice, not sorrow. I know that in heaven they are rejoicing over us. It says so in the scriptures that there is joy over each sinner who repenteth.

The Lord doesn’t see us as this bundle of sins and imperfections. He sees yesterday, today, and eternity all at once. He sees us right now, as we will be, beautiful, and clean from the atonement of Christ. I hope we can learn to see ourselves that way, and know the great love the Lord has for each one of us. Because of Christ, we are beautiful…today.

Seize The Day

2008-10-16T22:58:00.004-06:00

Each of us has only one life, but some of us behave as if we believed we were cats with nine lives. At times we live on the edge, giving little thought to the fact that at any instant we could lay our bodies down and depart this life. We eat, we drink, we make merry, not realizing that our loved ones and friends could die or be taken from us at any time. As John Lennon and Paul McCartney once wrote, "Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend."

We dare not live out lives without taking advantage of each and every day. We must seize the day! We must live and love each day as if it were our last. This is the essence of being good and doing good. We should never wait until tomorrow to make things right. There may be no tomorrow.

A great teacher taught: "Mend a quarrel. Seek out a forgotten friend. Dismiss suspicion and replace it with trust. Write a letter. Give a soft answer. Encourage youth. Manifest your loyalty in word and deed. Keep a promise. Forgo a grudge. Forgive an enemy. Apologize. Try to understand. Examine your demands on others. Think first of someone else. Be kind. Be gentle. Laugh a little more. Express your gratitude. Welcome a stranger. Gladden the heart of a child. Take pleasure in the beauty and wonder of the earth. Speak your love and then speak it again."

My Father's House.

2008-10-12T22:31:00.008-06:00

I was thinking earlier about posting something else, but the Spirit said "No". It was the first time that happened to me with this blog, and speaks to the fact that the Lord has something very specific in mind for what I need to write tonight. (Please don't hesitate to contact me about anything I've written here. My email link is located on the side bar.)

A few minutes ago, I was thinking about the day, and how grateful I am for some very specific blessings. This time, the Spirit was overwhelming - "This is what you need to write about." Interestingly enough, I had originally wanted to post Elder Ballard's request that we share our testimonies through the internet, blogs and other electronic media. I will share that request at another time. Tonight, what the Lord wants me to share is my testimony. (It's just a bit ironic that I didn't pick up on THAT when I read Elder Ballard's request that we do that very thing.)

I was able to attend our Fast and Testimony Meeting today. I have been feeling for a while that I needed to share my testimony of the Temple, and what a blessing it has been to me in this last year. As I sat listening to the testimonies, trying keep my brood of 5 active children quiet enough so that I could hear, I realized that there had been a long period of silence. I waited, and I thought I heard someone get up, but the pause continued. Finally the Spirit said to me, "We are waiting for you." What I will share here is actually much more detailed than what I shared in the meeting today, but essentially the same.

Last November, my Bishop encouraged me to begin attending the Temple regularly, at least once a month. I cried there in his office. I hadn't wanted to go without my husband. I had come to a place where I knew my husband, to whom I was sealed in the San Diego Temple 14 years earlier, was no longer interested in Christ or the LDS Church, much less the Temple. My own convictions, regarding the truth of the gospel and the power of Christ to comfort as well cleanse and save, were stronger than ever. I knew I needed the strength that would come from the Temple and I knew my husband wouldn't be coming with me again. I told my Bishop that I would go each month.

This month, October 2008, was the 12th consecutive month that I have fulfilled that commitment. In some ways it seems like much more time has passed because so much has changed in my life during this year. In most ways, the year has flown by. I will never let any excuse keep me from the Temple again. In the Temple, I feel peace about my road - which has been incredibly rocky and filled with struggles I never dreamed I'd face. In the Temple, I feel the deep and endless love of the Lord. I feel like I'm 'going home' in many ways. It is My Father's House. He is there for me when I go for a visit. He sits at my side and listens to me as I pour out my heart. He lets me know that he has heard me. Amazingly, what I feel to do most when I am there is to Thank Him. I am renewed in the Temple. It has been a much greater blessing to me than my Bishop promised.

Last November, as I sat waiting in a silent Temple room, My Father said quietly to my heart "Thank you for coming to My House. Now, I can bless you even more." I felt completely overwhelmed by His love, and I desperately needed that. I had recently told my husband that I wasn't willing to go on the way things were. In the previous year things had worsened in our home to such an extent, his anger and misery were so entrenched, that I had begun to fear for our children and their emotional health. There was strength rising up in me that I didn't know I had. I wasn't afraid anymore to face life without him. I had given him one last opportunity to treat his family with kindness and love, to be the father his children deserved. I could live with him not embracing the gospel the way I did, but I couldn't live with the emotional explosions that seemed to be more and more common and vicious - turning more often directly to family members. I had come to a very difficult place. I needed My Father more than ever, and He was there for me, in His House.

I can think of so many precious moments in my visits to the Temple during this year when the Spirit has lifted me like a buoy, helping me to float through what would otherwise have been almost unbearable trials. The Spirit made me sure of my course, sure of the things I knew I had to do. It has been far more difficult than I imagined, but most often more peaceful. There have been moments so painful, I thought there was no way I'd find my way through the struggles. Soon after however, a little light would come, a little miracle would find its way into my life, My Father would reveal His hand. It is not the life I planned. It is so far from the life I planned that I know I would never have been able to withstand the mounting pressures without my monthly visits to the Temple, Daily Scripture Study and Prayer. My road has brought me to a divorce.

Your road may be a different road, but your answers and strength still lie in the Temple, in Your Father's House. He knows you just as well as He knows me. He is waiting for you to come and sit at His knee, tell Him of your pain and find rest in His love. I Know. I have been there. He and our Savior Jesus Christ Live and they Love us so desperately. They want to see us. It's what they always say, isn't it? "Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest."

Rest is waiting for you.

Come.

Search In The Light Of Christ

2008-10-08T22:45:00.002-06:00

Moroni knew that in the latter-days people would call good evil and evil good. He therefore included in the last pages of the Book Of Mormon counsel his father, Mormon, gave to the Saints who lived in the last days of the Nephite civilization. They too had difficulty clearing this mist, so Mormon gave them a key:
"Every thing which inviteth and enticeth to do good, and to love God, and to serve him, is inspired of God. Wherefore, take heed, my beloved brethren, that ye do not judge that which is evil to be of God or that which is good and of God to be of the devil. For behold, my brethren, it is given unto you to judge, that ye may know good from evil; and the way to judge is as plain, that ye may know with a perfect knowledge, as the daylight is from the dark night. For behold, the Spirit of Christ is given to every man, that he may know good from evil; wherefore I show unto you the way to judge; for everything which inviteth to do good, and to persuade to believe in Christ, is sent forth by the power and gift of God...And now, my brethren, seeing that ye know the light by which ye may judge, which light is the light of Christ, see that ye do not judge wrongfully...Wherefore, I beseech of you , brethren, that ye should search diligently in the light of Christ that ye may know good from evil; and if ye will lay hold upon every good thing, and condemn it not, ye certainly will be a child of Christ." (Moroni 7:13-19.)

For a wise purpose.

2008-10-07T12:45:00.000-06:00

Words of Mormon
7 And I do this for a wise purpose; for thus it whispereth me, according to the workings of the Spirit of the Lord which is in me. And now, I do not know all things; but the Lord knoweth all things which are to come; wherefore, he worketh in me to do according to his will.

This scripture says in a nutshell how I feel about my life’s ups and downs. I don’t know everything, but the Lord does.

The Best Within Us

2008-10-05T22:37:00.002-06:00

I loved this quote.

“The whole process of raising a family is one of perfecting our own lives. That which we transmit consciously and unconsciously to our children in their rearing in the home and in the community must be the best within us.” Henry D. Moyle, formerly of the 1st Presidency of the church.

Alma 37 and the spiritual/temporal

2008-09-24T06:07:00.004-06:00

Kersten and I must be on the same wavelength because I have been having the same thoughts and learning about the connectedness of spiritual and physical and how my bridling and control over one influences the other so much. I have been thinking about it through the view of concepts from Alma 37:6,33,37,40-47.
The thoughts start with, "....by small and simple things are great things brought to pass" then leads me to, "...teach them to withstand every temptation of the devil, with their faith on the Lord Jesus Christ." From there I find, "counsel with the Lord in all they doings and he will driect thee for good..." This leads me to the concept of a temporal Liahona in the time of Lehi (vs. 40-47) and the comparison of the words of Christ being the same type of "liahona" for Helaman and for us in our day. Verse 41 takes us back to the small and simple means idea and ties all those together by showing that spiritual and temporal ARE connected, that the words of Christ are our liahona today and that our faith is required for the liahona to work.
I end my jumble of thoughts with exerpts from Alma 37: 40-47: "And now, my son, I would that ye should understand that these things are not without a shadow; for as our fathers were slothful to give heed to this compass (now these things were temporal) they did not prosper, even so it is with things which are spiritual. For behold, it is as easy to give heed to the word of Christ, which will point to you a straight course to eternal bliss, as it was for our fathers to give heed to this compass.....do not let us be slothful because of the easiness of the way; for so it was with our fathers....if they would look they might live; even so it is with us. The way is prepared, and if we will look we may live forever."

The Spiritual and the Physical

2008-09-18T14:47:00.003-06:00

Lately I have noticed something that I should have known a long time ago. That my spiritual being is inseparably connected to my physical being. I have had my ups and downs with eating healthy and exercising...and happily...I've been on an upswing this month. The contrast between my ups and downs has made me notice something. I am finally realizing after all these years...that when I eat healthy and exercise, I gain more control over my physical body...which translates directly into more control over my spirit. I never noticed that before! When I am controlling my physical body to stay healthy, all of a sudden I have a stronger spirit or a stronger 'will' to do the spiritual things that I need to do as a mother, wife, and daughter of God. I desire to read my scriptures and attend the temple more...I have more patience and more power to do the things I need to in motherhood...I have more strength to serve others. I love feeling this way!

I wish I would have figured that out sooner. I know I would have been far less overwhelmed as a young mother. Oh well...older but wiser.....

The Face of a Prophet

2008-09-17T22:05:00.002-06:00

The scriptures teach us both directly and indirectly the power of a prophet in dispersing the darkness Satan sends to blind our eyes. The fifth chapter of Helaman recounts the story of Nephi and Lehi, who were bound in prison, awaiting their execution. When the Lamanites came to take their lives, they were "encircled about with a pillar of fire." At the same time, the Lamanites "were overshadowed with a cloud of darkness, and an awful solemn fear came upon them." (Helaman 5: 24, 28.) This cloud of darkness represents their spiritual state. The Lord was showing them an outward manifestation of their spiritual state. We are told that "they could not flee because of the cloud of darkness." (Helaman 5:34.) There was, however, something powerful enough to penetrate the darkness and show them the way.

"Aminadab turned him about, and behold, he saw through the cloud of darkness the faces of Nephi and Lehi; and behold, they did shine exceedingly." Aminadab cried to the others trapped in the darkness, encouraging them to look to the one source of light visible to them. "And behold, there was power given unto them that they did turn and look; and they did behold the faces of Nephi and Lehi." (Helaman 5: 36-37.)

When the adversary sends his clouds of darkness, his temptations, his deceptions and deceits, we need only look to the faces of the prophets. Their light is strong enough to penetrate whatever clouds may come our way. But just as the Lamanites had to turn and look, so we must turn and look. The light is there if we desire it. If we seek it, wonderful promises are offered.

Hold On The Light Will Come

2008-09-13T14:55:00.004-06:00

A few months ago I found myself sitting at my computer in complete dispair. I had been doing some journaling about my fears for a loved one. He had wandered far from the fold.I was beginning to believe Satan's lie's that he would never find his way back. I was trying to imagine what my life would be like without him in it. All I had left were my pleading cries to my Heavenly Father.

Then I found myself here at Peaceable Walk reading Abby's blog on July 10th about our prayers being heard. I remember how the words pearced my heart.

"Somewhere out there is someone who desperately needs to know that their prayers are heard and will be answered."

I had never read this blog before, I don't even know how I arrived at this site. What I do know is , it wasn't an accident. I know that night I received an answer to my prayers.

Sometimes we just have to HOLD ON.........

I wanted to share this with you today because for these past few weeks I have had such a peace about this situation. I just knew that my prayers were being heard. It was during this time that my loved ones life was completely shattered. He had found himself completely alone. I knew things were really, really bad in his life but I was at peace. I just knew everything was going to be alright. I am not saying that I did nothing. What I did was, read my scriptures, fast, pray, and journal about all the little things that my Heavenly Father was teaching me during that time.

And today, I am witnessing a miracle. A few weeks ago I was trying to prepare myself for a life without this person in it. Today I received an e-mail photo of him in a hospital room witnessing the miracle of birth as his sister brings a new life into this world.He was in a room filled with loved ones who had also missed him dearly.

He truly was lost but now he is found.

What I want to share with you is this. I know that there are moments for each of us when all around us is dark despair. It is as if we have fallen into a deep, dark hole and we can't find our way out. It is during those moments that we think we will never see the light again but if we just hold on the light will come. Sometimes the only thing we can do is HOLD ON. It is during these moments that I hear the voice of my Heavenly Father whisper softly in my ear, "Be still, and know that I am God." So if today you are that person that desperately needs to know that your prayers are heard I hope you will know that the light will come. Just hold on.

Never give up.

2008-08-22T08:47:00.003-06:00

This is the story of my Mission President as a young boy, and the leader who would not give up on him. You know how you constantly thank the Lord for certain people in your life? This is one of those men, and I am so grateful to his leader. We have to keep trying. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I do. I never get tired of this story.

Mervyn B. Arnold, “Strengthen Thy Brethren,” Ensign, May 2004, 46

Brother José de Souza Marques was the type of leader who truly understood the principle taught by the Savior: “And if any man among you be strong in the Spirit, let him take with him him that is weak, that he may be edified in all meekness, that he may become strong also” (D&C 84:106).

As a member of the branch presidency in Fortaleza, Brazil, Brother Marques with the other priesthood leaders developed a plan to reactivate those who were less active in his branch. One of those who was less active was a young man by the name of Fernando Araujo. Recently I spoke to Fernando, and he told me of his experience:

“I became involved in surfing competitions on Sunday mornings and stopped going to my Church meetings. One Sunday morning Brother Marques knocked on my door and asked my nonmember mother if he could talk to me. When she told him I was sleeping, he asked permission to wake me. He said to me, ‘Fernando, you are late for church!’ Not listening to my excuses, he took me to church.

“The next Sunday the same thing happened, so on the third Sunday I decided to leave early to avoid him. As I opened the gate I found him sitting on his car, reading the scriptures. When he saw me he said, ‘Good! You are up early. Today we will go and find another young man!’ I appealed to my agency, but he said, ‘We can talk about that later.’

“After eight Sundays I could not get rid of him, so I decided to sleep at a friend’s house. I was at the beach the next morning when I saw a man dressed in a suit and tie walking towards me. When I saw that it was Brother Marques, I ran into the water. All of a sudden, I felt someone’s hand on my shoulder. It was Brother Marques, in water up to his chest! He took me by the hand and said, ‘You are late! Let’s go.’ When I argued that I didn’t have any clothes to wear, he replied, ‘They are in the car.’

“That day as we walked out of the ocean, I was touched by Brother Marques’s sincere love and worry for me. He truly understood the Savior’s words: ‘I will seek that which was lost, and bring again that which was driven away, and will bind up that which was broken, and will strengthen that which was sick’ (Ezek. 34:16). Brother Marques didn’t just give me a ride to church—the quorum made sure I remained active. They planned activities that made me feel needed and wanted, I received a calling, and the quorum members became my friends.”

Following his reactivation, Brother Araujo went on a full-time mission and has served as bishop, stake president, mission president, and regional representative. His widowed mother, three sisters, and several cousins have also entered the waters of baptism.

When speaking about the work of the Aaronic Priesthood quorums in his ward, Brother Araujo, who is once again serving as a bishop, stated:

“Our rescue work is the focus in all three quorums of the Aaronic Priesthood. We have a list of each one of our lost sheep. The quorum presidencies, advisers, and bishopric divide up and go visit them on a regular basis. We visit not only the less-active members, but we also visit the nonmembers in less-active or part-member families.

“Activities are organized to reach each young man. We discuss each young man in our quorum presidency meetings and in our monthly bishopric youth committee meetings. In 2003 we managed to rescue five priests, one teacher, and two deacons, who are now active in their quorums. We have also reactivated some families and have enjoyed the blessing of seeing some nonmembers enter the waters of baptism.”

A kind of journal.

2008-08-20T21:02:00.002-06:00

2 Nephi 25:23

For we labor diligently to write, to persuade our children, and also our brethren, to believe in Christ, and to be reconciled to God; for we know that it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do.

I've been reading the scriptures online this year, and keeping a journal of notes on my computer. It has been so valuable to me. I keep it in the order of the chapters and verses. Each time I begin reading again, I go back to the beginning of my notes. I only write down what strikes me on a certain day, what a scripture meant to me or what stood out. If it is extremely pertinent to some specific event in my life, I write down the date as well. It's nice to use a word processing program to do it because the document can expand easily. I don't have to add pages, I just write whatever comes. This verse in Chapter 25 of Second Nephi meant a lot to me today as I was thinking about the journal. And so it goes. Someday, I hope that my notes will help my children to understand my love of the scriptures and devotion to the Savior.

Life is Difficult

2008-08-17T10:15:00.002-06:00

M. Scott Peck has written, "Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult--once we truly understand and accept it--then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters." (The Road Less Traveled).

Happiness and peace do not always equate with everything in life running smoothly. Happiness and peace are powers that come from within as we live by true and virtuous principles, even amidst adversity. If we continue to be good through difficult times, we learn that God uses BROKEN things to teach us some of life's greatest lessons. It takes broken soil to produce a crop, broken clouds to give rain, broken bread to give strength. It is the broken alabaster box that gives forth perfume....It is Peter, weeping bitterly, who returns to greater power than ever.

Be it unto me.

2008-08-11T09:00:00.004-06:00

I have been a little bit surprised at how crazy life has been with my three oldest in the past week. They've been doing so well for the last six weeks, and I wasn’t quite sure what was going on. Today it hit me like a ton of bricks. C and E have been back in school for 2 weeks. I wasn’t factoring in that school anxiety that always seems to hit when the newness starts to wear off. I am now even more grateful and amazed at how important it was to have things happen in the order that they did. I can see that if they had been in school when Dan moved, it would’ve just been far too much for them to handle at the same time. In hindsight, those things that I recognized as small miracles seem like mountains moved just in the nick of time. What incredible blessings. I knew that they were important, I just didn’t realize HOW important until now. It is very interesting to me that it wasn’t until I had given up that timeline that the Lord seemed to step in and make it all happen, anyway. Can I be that way with all my dreams? That has been my prayer lately. “Lord, I only want what you want for me.” Mary said, “Be it unto me according to thy word.” It is the attitude I want in my life right now. When we trust in the Lord, we can know that whatever we must pass through, it will lead us to Him. It is enough.

Journaling

2008-08-01T09:06:00.003-06:00

My journals have meant a great deal to me through the years. I remember my parents sitting us down for Family Home Evening when I was 10, giving us notebooks and pencils and asking us to write. I never stopped. I've kept excellent journals since that time. Admittedly, some of the entries from my early teens are painfully overwrought with gushing emotion. My Dad told me once, when I complained about the teenage me I saw in my journals, "Why should you be embarrassed about having been completely normal?" That changed my thoughts on it forever. My journals have also enlightened and blessed me as I have gone back to look over certain stages of my life, especially my adult life. I am a very positive person, but even I have often allowed disappointments or sadness to cloud memories of certain times in my life which upon looking back through my journals were more filled with happiness than I remembered. Among the things I have forgotten are often fairly important details which clarify and refine my memories, always in positive ways. Journals serve to remind us of small blessings and triumphs when those things might otherwise be lost forever.

With these thoughts in mind, I gave my children notebooks last night along with pens, and asked them to write. A, my 2 1/2 year old girl, drew a few squiggles and declared, "That Me, Mama!" My twelve year old son, T, wrote about the quickly approaching move to middle school. They wrote about where they are, now. Someday, I know they'll look back and be grateful to have these words. The reason I am so sure of that is the fact that this was the summer their father moved into his own apartment. They've been through a lot, and I assume that they will continue to go through a lot. I want them to have a record of the fact that they made it through. It will be a wonderful thing for them to look back and realize all of the blessings that we had, even through the difficulties. I hope that they'll be able to look back and see the loving hand of the Lord the way I have in my own life. I can't think of a better gift that I could give them. It was one of the best Family Home Evenings we've had.

Behold, My Joy is Full

2008-07-30T16:26:00.005-06:00

"The cavity which suffering carves into our souls will one day also be the receptacle of joy."

Neil A. Maxwell, BYU Fireside, 1 September 1974.

It's Between You & God

2008-07-28T17:52:00.004-06:00

Mother Teresa reportedly kept the following statement hanging on her wall:

People are often unreasonable, illogical,
and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of
selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some
false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may
cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone
could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness,
they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will
forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have,
and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis,
it is between you and God;
It never was between you and them anyway.

Sister Kinghorn in Ukraine

2008-07-22T14:41:00.002-06:00

Okay, are you ready to sob - because this is what it's all about. The Kinghorns are Humanitarian Service Missionaries in Ukraine. She sent me an email today and I'm going to post a number of her things at the Humanitarian Service Project Blog (Link on the right). I'll include here some of the links to specific posts as well. I can't help but cry as I read about the work they do, and I am so grateful to be able to help in some small way the children and families of the world.

This is what she wrote as an introduction to the blog:

My husband Bruce and I are Missionaries with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. We are serving a Humanitarian Mission in Ukraine. The focus of the Church's Humanitarian work is to relieve the suffering of the poor and needy. Every week we visit charitable organizations such as orphanages, shelters, boarding schools for the handicapped, special hospice homes, and hospitals. We have met some incredible people who dedicate their lives to helping others. We hope to share with you a glimpse of what those experiences are like for us and the wonderful blessings we have enjoyed while being on the Lord's errand.

Kinghorn's Called to Serve

Humanitarian Work (Containers)

He is listening. He loves you. He will answer you.

2008-07-10T09:04:00.003-06:00

I didn't want to post anything new, because that photo and poem are so beautiful, but somewhere out there is someone who desperately needs to know that their prayers are being heard and will be answered. I have always believed this, but in my hours of greatest need, He has been so attentive to me - I have such a need to testify. He Hears You. He will Answer You.

The answers I have received have not been "what I planned," and have in fact shocked me. I have passed through my nightmare, . . . and survived. I didn't think that was possible. The Lord has strengthened me daily as I have turned to Him and allowed Him to guide me. The road has been rough, rocky and winding. All these things have given me experience, however. They have made me softer and more willing to listen to Him. They have made it impossible for me to imagine that I "came up with any of it on my own." His plan for my life wasn't my plan, but as I have accepted His will and His way I have found the greatest peace and happiness I've ever known. That is His promise. "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28)

He is listening. He loves you. He will answer you.

Song For A Fifth Child

2008-07-08T14:19:00.005-06:00

Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing and butter the bread,
Sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking!

Oh, I've grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
And out in the yard there's hullabaloo
But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren't her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
But children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep...

by Ruth Hulbert Hamilton, in Lady's Home Journal. 1958.

Precious Children

2008-07-03T20:25:00.002-06:00

"My dear brothers and sisters, may the laughter of children gladden our hearts. May the faith of children soothe our souls. May the love of children prompt our deeds. 'Children are an heritage of the Lord' (Ps. 127:3)."

Thomas S. Monson
"Precious Children--A Gift from God,"
Ensign, Nov. 1991

Our Priceless Heritage

2008-07-01T22:41:00.002-06:00

Today we live in a choice land above all other lands. We live amid unbounded prosperity ~ this because of the heritage bequeathed to us by our forebears, a heritage of self-reliance, initiative, personal industry, and faith in God, all in an atmosphere of freedom.
Were these Founding Fathers and pioneer forefathers to counsel us today in their fundamental beliefs~so manifest by their acts~ what would they say to us?
FIRST they would counsel us to have faith in God.
SECOND they would counsel us to strengthen our home and family ties.
THIRD they would counsel us on the dignity of work, to practice thrift, and to be self-sustaining.
FINALLY these noble Founders and pioneers~ our benefactors~ would counsel us to preserve the freedoms granted to us by God. They knew that the foundation of this nation was spiritual, that the source of all our blessings was God. They knew that this nation could only prosper in an atmosphere of freedom.
As one with you, charged with the responsibility of protecting and perpetuating this noble heritage, I stand today with bowed head and heart overflowing with gratitude. May we begin to repay this debt by preserving and strengthening this heritage in our own lives, in the lives of our children, their children and generations yet unborn.
Nov. 1976 Ensign
by President Ezra Taft Benson

Don't Take Offense At The Truth

2008-06-22T17:08:00.004-06:00

I know that the words of truth are hard against all uncleanness;
but the righteous fear them not, for they love the truth and are not shaken.
2 nephi 9:40

To teach the young to love the truth above personal convenience is the basis of it. They will be taught true courage, which becomes a living and attractive virtue when it is regarded not as a willingness to die manfully, BUT AS A DETERMINATION TO LIVE DECENTLY. They will be taught honesty by habit and as a matter of course...Such is the power gained from loving the Lord, our God, and serving Him in righteousness.
president thomas s. monson

~Truth shall spring forth out of the earth...Psalm 85:11
~The truth will make you free...John 8:32
~Christ is the way and the truth...John 14:6
~The guilty always take the truth to be hard...1 nephi 16:2-3
~Glory in the truth...2 nephi 33:6
~The Spirit will always speak the truth...Jacob 4:13

Blessings Through Faithful Prayers

2008-06-16T22:26:00.006-06:00

Suppose...you are a mother or father with a son who is straying from the path of righteousness...You can do much to pray him home...to fast him home. You can repent enough of your own sins that, through your sacrifice, the Lord may intervene more in his life and save the boy. It's not that you're paying for your own sins--Jesus did that. But through your agency, through your sacrifice, you are able to receive blessings that you otherwise would not be able to obtain. (Of course, these things still depend on the agency of others--our prayers can't supersede the agency of those we're praying for. But sacrifice and fervent prayer can do much to help. With such prayer we can accomplish much--even if it doesn't bring our loved ones all the way home.)~Gene R. Cook

And again, the angel said: Behold, the Lord hath heard...the prayers of his servant, Alma, who is thy father; for he has prayed with much faith concerning thee that thou mightest be brought to the knowledge of the truth; therefore, for this prupose have I come to convince thee of the power and authority of God, that the prayers of his servants might be answered according to their faith.
Mosiah 27:14

Gratitude

2008-06-09T11:33:00.000-06:00

"True gratitude is the ability to humbly see, feel, and even receive love. Gratitude is a form of returning love to God. Recognize His hand, tell Him so, express your love to Him." -Gene R. Cook

Stand for Something.

2008-06-09T07:08:00.002-06:00

I have a blogging friend that has a group of posts that she has labeled Stand for Something. I enjoyed reading through them this morning, especially the most recent ones on personal Goliaths and all of her thoughts on service. There are so many good things that we can do with our lives. Let's go!

When you have gone as far as you can go . . .

2008-06-04T22:02:00.006-06:00

I've been learning this week about how the Lord works with us when we need Him most. I'm sure it isn't the last time I will be here, and the next time will most likely be soon. It's just where I am. This is a day and hour at a time world I live in. Monday I was sure I'd start to fall apart as much physically as I was emotionally. The stress had reached an unbearable place, and relief was no where on the horizon. Everywhere I looked, doors were closing on me. It was like being in a hall of mirrors at the carnival - except that each and every door was real. I felt the pain of it intensely as the one I had most hoped would lead somewhere was rudely shoved at me. I took it as a challenge, but at the same time realized that to truly open that door would most likely take a solid year of work. It wasn't an immediate option and I am in a world of immediate need.

So, what did I do? I called my mother. She was a great help. She didn't say it would all be okay and not to worry. She listened to me, she grumbled with me and ached with me. It was just what I needed. She offered ideas, but nothing that I would have thought of myself. She offered ways that she could help me, rather than things that I should try. Heaven knows, the last thing someone needs when they have tied a knot in their rope and are hanging on for dear life is thoughts about what they might try to start climbing back up the rope again. You think of just about everything while you are swinging around there at the end of your rope. Having someone who's just willing to hang there with you is such a blessing - and my mother was willing to do that with me. We weren't murmuring, we were just feeling the pain that comes along with being human, wondering if we could really accomplish the work ahead of us. The fact that she is so willing to work along side me is almost overwhelming. It also helps, when you really truly in your gut feel that your Heavenly Father, and your Savior as well, are watching and mindful of you. You can say, after 'I can't believe what a weak human being I am' . . . 'Well then, if He wants me to go down farther, then I keep going.' It's a hard thing to acknowledge, that even after you've gone way past what you thought was the rope's end, when you've descended into a darker place than you have ever known, there may still be more to come. That's where I was. I was at a kind-of dead end after two weeks of hard work, feeling that I'd have to start over again, very tired and in great need of some consolation.

So, what did we do? We did what we could do, and didn't worry anymore about the things that we couldn't. We registered my five year old for Kindergarten at the elementary school nearest my mother. We went to the grocery store and picked up some milk. The day did get worse, believe it or not - much worse. The next day, however, was better - like the dawn of a new morning after a dark night. I had an opportunity to work in a temporary position for the day - and I was grateful for that day. I proved myself quickly, and impressed the woman I was working with. When someone you've never met before watches what you can do and thinks that you are wonderful, well, how can you not feel good about yourself? (Even if the only others that seems to think you're wonderful are your parents.) It was the consolation that I needed - just enough of it to put some energy into my tired bones so that I could start to think about climbing again. Other things also started to click into place that day. They were small but important things on the grand scale. For the first time in a long time, I felt a little sun shining down through the darkness, falling on my face. When you've been in the dark for a while, you really can appreciate the sun's brilliance.

I don't know what tomorrow will bring. I may be at a new end of the rope in a couple more weeks, who knows. It doesn't really matter. I know a little more about the way the Lord works with his children when they need Him most. If I get to another place like that, I will remember and wait for the bit of sunshine that is sure to come. It will come. And finally, when I've gone as far down the rope as He needs me to go for now, the last tumblers will fall into place, a door will open and I will start walking again. This isn't the life I had planned for myself, but I know it's a life my Father in Heaven is pleased with. It will be a good life.

Discipline for children....Heavenly Father's way

2008-05-23T07:13:00.003-06:00

"When a child needs correction, you might ask yourself, 'What can I say or do that would persuade him or her to choose a better way?' When giving necessary correction, do it quietly, privately, lovingly, and not publicly. If a rebuke is required, show an increase of love promptly so that seeds of resentment may not remain........Do not try to control your children. Instead listen to them, help them to learn the gospel, inspire them, and lead them toward eternal life. You are God's agents in the care of children He has entrusted to you. Let His divine influence remain in your hearts as you teach and persuade." Elder Nelson, May 2008 Ensign

Your Father Knoweth

2008-05-16T08:12:00.000-06:00

3 Nephi 13:8

Be not ye therefore like unto them, for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of before ye ask him.

For Mother's Day

2008-05-09T23:27:00.000-06:00

The Lanyard
by Billy Collins

The other day as I was ricocheting slowly
off the pale blue walls of this room,
bouncing from typewriter to piano,
from bookshelf to an envelope lying on the floor,
I found myself in the L section of the dictionary
where my eyes fell upon the word lanyard.

No cookie nibbled by a French novelist
could send one more suddenly into the past --
a past where I sat at a workbench at a camp
by a deep Adirondack lake
learning how to braid thin plastic strips
into a lanyard, a gift for my mother.

I had never seen anyone use a lanyard
or wear one, if that’s what you did with them,
but that did not keep me from crossing
strand over strand again and again
until I had made a boxy
red and white lanyard for my mother.

She gave me life and milk from her breasts,
and I gave her a lanyard.
She nursed me in many a sickroom,
lifted teaspoons of medicine to my lips,
set cold face-cloths on my forehead,
and then led me out into the airy light

and taught me to walk and swim,
and I, in turn, presented her with a lanyard.
Here are thousands of meals, she said,
and here is clothing and a good education.
And here is your lanyard, I replied,
which I made with a little help from a counselor.

Here is a breathing body and a beating heart,
strong legs, bones and teeth,
and two clear eyes to read the world, she whispered,
and here, I said, is the lanyard I made at camp.
And here, I wish to say to her now,
is a smaller gift--not the archaic truth

that you can never repay your mother,
but the rueful admission that when she took
the two-tone lanyard from my hands,
I was as sure as a boy could be
that this useless, worthless thing I wove
out of boredom would be enough to make us even.

LDS Humanitarian Service Project Blog is up . . .

2008-05-07T18:43:00.003-06:00

and although I wouldn't quite describe it as "running", I would say that if you'd like to help out or have information you'd like to add, email me! The link to the blog is on the sidebar, and will be permanent.

One great quote!

2008-05-01T05:17:00.004-06:00

"My dear sisters, do not pray for tasks equal to your abilities, but pray for abilities equal to your tasks. Then the performance of your tasks will be no miracle, but you will be the miracle."
Pres. Monson Sept. 07

A Message from Connie Sokol

2008-04-29T08:26:00.004-06:00

Hi Ladies,

I was reading one of those early reader books with my daughter on Seabiscuit, the miracle racehorse, and was reminded of the power of seeing the soul.

Short version, Seabiscuit came from great racehorses but he didn't look or act great himself; his legs were short, crooked, and he ran funny. He had never won a race. He made trouble, was overweight, and slept all morning (this may be hitting close to home...) But then Tom Smith came along, saw inside his soul, and got a buyer to bring him home. He made the stall roomier, brought in stray animals for friendship, and even slept in the barn with the horse. Seabiscuit responded to the love. In six years he won 33 races and more prize money than any other racehorse.

Sometimes what you and I, and children or neighbors or cranky co-workers, really need is a little Tom Smith. We need someone to see inside our soul and look beyond the outward behavior-to make a stall more roomy, bring in a trusted friend, or shower us with a little affection. I invite you this week to choose someone who may be troublesome in your life, and to see him or her as a Tom Smith would. And just maybe you will nurture and develop a legendary winner.

All my best,

Connie

Connie Sokol
President
LIFEChange
info@lifechangeprogram.com
www.lifechangeprogram.com
801.787.4910

LIFEChange - Copyright (c) 2008
All Rights Reserved

They were at war. . .

2008-04-23T07:19:00.003-06:00

they were confused and worried. This was their experience, and it is mine as well. I'm grateful to be able to be another witness of the Lord's goodness and watchful care. He has indeed blessed me with assurances, peace, faith and hope. I stand in wonder as I contemplate where I'd be without Him.

Alma 58:11

Yea, and it came to pass that the Lord our God did visit us with assurances that he would deliver us; yea, insomuch that he did speak peace to our souls, and did grant unto us great faith, and did cause us that we should hope for our deliverance in him.

For Gloria

2008-04-15T21:36:00.002-06:00

Paul died on Sunday morning. 39 years old, severely autistic....but still such a shock. In the aftermath of the news I sit reflecting on life, the Plan of Salvation and motherhood. I write in honor of my mother-in-law.
I don't know how life with Paul really was. I have heard many stories, seen a few of them in action and have asked her many questions. Still, I have no idea of the struggles and blessings she has experienced through her time with Paul.
My own experiences as a mother leads me to know that she loved him dearly; more than herself. She looked at his newborn face and knew she would do whatever it took to protect him, teach him and travel with him through the storms and sunshine in life. She spent more time with him than anyone else did. She bathed him, not just for a few short years like the rest of us, but for over 30 years. Every day she woke thinking of his needs and went to bed checking on him. Everyday she prayed for guidance, ability and patience. Everyday she sought to understand and to help him understand. Everyday.
I think she might be feeling conflicting emotions right now. Joy that Paul is free from his body and able to do so much more. Sorrow that she no longer gets to feel him touch her hair. Guilt, though unjustified, about what else she could have done. Relief that he went first so she didn't have to worry about him if she had.
Amid all the emotions, I pray she is feeling true peace and comfort that comes from Jesus Christ.
Gloria, I honor and respect you for the many unnoticed acts of service you have rendered day after day, year after year with patience and love to Paul, and to all the rest of us. I know you won't see it as that.....you see it as "just" being a mother.
Love, Amiee

Your Deeds Are Known

2008-04-12T08:59:00.001-06:00

"As I look into your faces I can feel your goodness. I commend each of you for your day-to-day works of righteousness. Even though your works may be known to only a few, they are recorded in the Lamb’s book of life, 1 which one day will be opened to witness of your dedicated service, devotion, and deeds as “instruments in the hands of God to bring about this great work.” James E. Faust, “Instruments in the Hands of God,” Ensign, Nov 2005, 114

Three Good Quotes

2008-04-09T14:45:00.001-06:00

Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others, cannot keep it from themselves.
- JAMES M. BARRIE

Happiness is not so much in having as sharing. We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
- NORMAN MACEWAN

A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.
- TENNEVA JORDAN

Time-the ultimate gift

2008-04-01T21:28:00.002-06:00

Reading the last conference Ensign (Nov. 07) has been a blessing in my life. I came across one very important paragraph from a talk by Elder Costa.
His statement was, "The fast-paced lifestyle of modern-day life and excessive amounts of work are curbing parents' attention from what is most important: to give time, to give of oneself to one's family."

From the beginning of my mothering experience, motherhood was fairly intuitive. The "nurturing gene" seemed to kick right in and the deep love I felt/feel for each of my children made sacrificing many things I was used to almost easy. I have sacrificed, labored, loved, soothed, kissed, sung and done all of those things, but when I read this quote I wondered if I have actually made the conscious choice to GIVE of myself. Sometimes when the sacrificing gets hard to endure I think, "did I really choose all this!". Of course, I say that in jest, but deep down I wonder if I haven't made the commitment that I need to make to truly GIVE of myself. That choice really could make all the difference. The hard things will still be there, day after day, but consciously choosing to give all that I have and all that I am to my family. That is a deeper commitment, a deeper sacrifice and a deeper potential for pure, Christ like love. It reminds me of the Lamanite king from the Book of Mormon who chose to give all his sins that he might know God. Would I give all I have, my whole self, to my family. I hope that I do, I hope that I will and I hope that I will always know why I chose to do it----"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."

We Cannot Fail

2008-04-01T09:26:00.005-06:00

Sometimes I get overwhelmed. Think of me, an ordinary, flawed person, trying to accomplish the mighty and sacred task of raising up righteous children in a failing world, with an enemy that never sleeps, who constantly tries to bind and enslave my precious ones. At times it seems like an insurmountable task.

It is…for someone who tries to accomplish it under their own power. But women who rely upon the Lord are not ordinary. I believe that when we put our trust in Him and do His work, the “least” of us will become the greatest of all, because we will rely upon the Lord to use us as an instrument, imperfect though we may be. It is then that the true miracle occurs, and the Lord shows forth his power, by making weak things become strong.

It is interesting to me to find out after all these years that life is not about accomplishing a checklist of things perfectly...it is about our partnership with the Lord in doing the list. How well we perform, I believe, depends upon our willingness to let go of our wills and just keep trying, doing our best and letting the Lord make up the difference when we fail. And when we do, we are no longer ordinary. The Lord will take the ugly little lump of clay that is our efforts and magnify it, until it becomes something "Glorious".

Perfection is not the key to this life, repentance is. I am taking great comfort in the fact that failure was part of the plan. We were expected to come to earth and fail on our own power. That is why a Savior was provided for us. All we have to do is reach up our hand and let the Savior become our partner in this great work (become yoked with him) and then our burdens will become light and we will be able to accomplish what we came to earth to do. You, as a mother, no matter how imperfect, are a daughter of God marching forth to help Him accomplish His great and glorious plan. When you keep trying, you cannot fail. Become partners with Him, and He will make you glorious.

I cannot say the smallest part.

2008-03-30T23:37:00.002-06:00

Alma 26:16

Therefore, let us glory, yea, we will glory in the Lord; yea, we will rejoice, for our joy is full; yea, we will praise our God forever. Behold, who can glory too much in the Lord? Yea, who can say too much of his great power, and of his mercy, and of his long-suffering towards the children of men? Behold, I say unto you, I cannot say the smallest part which I feel.

I'm just so aware of my own weakness, and need for the Lord in every minute of my life right now. Sometimes I feel like I can't breathe without Him. More amazing to me, however, is what he can do with me in my weakness. He causes me to stand, helps me to face an uncertain future with strength and resolve. He lifts my spirits and leads me to His will. I am often overwhelmed by the love I feel, His tender and watchful care over me. He is powerful and merciful, patient and all-understanding. He lets us pass through sorrow and difficulty that we might learn to turn to, trust and draw strength from Him - and then, to testify of His matchless and wondrous power. I know. I'm there. He is so good to me, and I love Him.

I'm sorry, It's my fault, please forgive me.

2008-03-27T13:20:00.003-06:00

This is what my friend suggested I say to fix a frosty relationship in my extended family. We were driving home from a weekend conference, and I'd asked her advice. We were taught there that you can't have a relationship with someone you don't trust, you can only have a strategy. I had a serious 'strategy' relationship in mind. Every time we would contemplate a visit, I would form my plan. If she said this, I would do this, and so on, and so on. This had been happening for over ten years. In fact, I'd know for sure that I had PMS when this certain person would come to mind. I'd mop the floor in gleeful ferocity, replaying the wrongs I had suffered, over and over in my mind.
When my friend suggested that I write a letter of apology, there was a gripping sensations in my vitals; a knotting, tightening, nauseating feeling that told me she was on to something.
A funny thing happened though, as I opened my heart to the possibility of writing that letter. I began to see things in my behavior that had been hurtful. Memories that had been buried deeply under hard feelings began to surface. I'd completely forgotten the time she drove almost an hour to take me to the hospital when my oldest child was a baby. He was very sick, and I was heavily pregnant and without a car. All sorts of forgotten kindnesses widened the cracks in the wall I'd built between us. By the time I sat down to write the letter, all hard feelings, jealousies and resentments were gone. I felt truly and deeply sorry for the years I'd lost of closeness and friendship. I sent the letter off, telling myself I didn't care how she responded. I almost believed it. "I've asked for forgiveness, whether she forgives me or not is her problem." I told myself. I waited a little over a week with no response. When the phone rang this morning, and her voice was on the line, I knew that I really did care. She told me how sorry she was, that it was really her fault, that she'd love to be closer too. We spent a long time catching up, without the undercurrent of tension. I felt giddy, healed, and lifted to a higher place. A miracle happened in my life. Bad feelings that I'd fought for a decade and begged the Lord to remove were whisked away like smoke in the wind the moment I was willing to humble myself.

By Small and Simple Things

2008-03-27T10:40:00.002-06:00

Hi, my name is Amiee House. I am the mother of 5, wife of Brent and trying to be a righteous woman of God. This is my first blog post...ever. I support the role of motherhood and the knowledge that it is a divine institution. I am learning so much through motherhood---there is wonderful joy and sometimes heart-breaking sorrow, but always there is learning and growing.

I felt emotionally drained one Saturday morning in March and had only 5 minutes until the next "thing" to do was happening. My state of mind had much to do with my 6 year old daughter and the awesome responsibility of helping her learn and remember that she is a child of a Heavenly Father who loves her.
All of my family was in the van waiting for me, but I needed to ground myself and quickly. I prayed and flipped open the Book of Mormon sitting on the desk. A few sentences passed through my head, another page flip and then I was stopped in my tracks. My problem seemed great and I have spent many hours on my knees. The anxiety of the whole issue was creeping up on me and then I read those freeing words by Alma, "...by small and simple things are great things brought to pass....and the Lord God doth work by means to bring about his great and eternal purposes; and by very small means the Lord doth confound the wise and bringeth about the salvation of many souls." Alma 37:6-7
Hope flooded through me as I realized that not only is my Father aware of my concerns but He, who knows my daughter better than I, also has already provided the "small means" on the earth to bring her to salvation. Hope comes through obedience to the small, simple gospel truths. I am teaching my daughter to pray, to have faith, to come to know Jesus Christ and His atonement in a very personal way. I have weaknesses, as does my daughter, but those means are in place and if I keep taking the small, daily steps to follow the true gospel of Jesus Christ and teach my children that also, there is great hope and truly "...great things (will be) brought to pass."